Underdog?: the difference between Max and Sanjaya

I've already admitted that I watch (and now love) the Grease show. I can't help it -- I'm seriously addicted. But now I have an even bigger secret. I've become an American Idol-watcher.

Before this season, I had only seen a handful of episodes. The season Clay Aiken charmed those of us who love a good closet case, I watched the last couple weeks. I also watched the last couple weeks during the season with Bo Bice and Constantine. (Who won that year? Carrie Underwood?) Anyway, that's it. I just never got into it... I think because I always had class or rehearsals when it was on (and DIDN'T have the wonder of DVR like I do now). Also, I can't stand the audition episodes, so I usually never make it past them. Regardless, I've gotten hooked this season (thanks to the DVR gods above. Watch Idol without DVR at your own peril). I'm not going to bore you with a run-down of my opinions on each contestant, although opinions I do have. Instead, I'd just like to briefly opine on what it means to be an underdog and who the real underdogs are in the world of reality TV. (Well, okay, just the Grease show and American Idol. Ashamedly, I do watch hordes of other reality TV shows, but we won't get into those now. Except to say that Sisely is the underdog on the Pussycat Dolls show, not Chelsea or Mariela. Read further to find out why.)

We'll start with the Grease show, because it offers the epitome of an underdog story: Max. How much do you love Max?! Max is a true underdog, and here's why... he's super talented!! He came into the competition looking like some kid you vaguely remember from high school, and his nickname on the show is "Slacker Danny." Unlike Austin and Jason, Max hasn't been on (or off) Broadway. Unlike Chad or Derek, he doesn't have the classic Danny look. Unlike Kevin, he's not too shy to be on Broadway, and unlike Matt, he doesn't suck. He's cute in a best-friend-who-makes-you-laugh kind of way, and in my opinion, he's the best singer in the competition. He's been criticized by the judges for not looking like Danny, for being too twerpy, for having big ears, etc etc... but they greased his hair and had him lift weights, and now he really looks like he could lead a gang (and look pretty darn cute doing it). What makes him the underdog isn't that he's BAD, and it's not that he's UGLY. Cuz he's not! And it's also not that he had bell's palsy as a kid (although... wow). No, he's an underdog because he's GOOD. Good but unlikely. He faced seemingly insurmountable odds (come on, admit it, at the beginning you liked Max but never thought he'd make it to the finals), and he does well every week DESPITE those odds. He's a fighter, he has natural talent, and now he made it into the finals. Because who doesn't love an underdog story? (PS I usually vote for Max online every week. I'll admit that this week I actually also voted via phone. Sad, I know.)

So in light of Max's story, who's the underdog of American Idol? Or, let's start here... who ISN'T the underdog of American Idol? SANJAYA. Why? Because he's AWFUL. He's worse than bad. He's HIDEOUS. He can style his hair like Paula all he wants... it doesn't make him any better. Unlike Max, Sanjaya sucks. I'm not just being mean here people, he's BAD. Like Simon said this week, the shots of the girl sobbing all through his performance explains it all. America, you're the ones who should be crying right now. Because instead of eliminating Sanjaya (who should have been eliminated the very first week, nevermind making it into the top 10), you eliminated Stephanie. And Sanjaya wasn't even in the bottom two!! Really? Steph and Chris in the bottom two?! America, you've got to understand that he is NOT the underdog of this competition. He's the joke. Every week they tell him his smile's pretty... because there's nothing they can say about his singing, since it's so bad that it's beyond help. He's almost like William Hung (ok, not THAT bad, but still!), except this time he made it in, unlike Hung, who got famous from his audition. But I don't think anyone thought Hung was the underdog. He was the joke. And the same goes for Sanjaya. So please stop voting for him. It's not funny anymore. And if you're voting for him because you think he's the underdog, think again.

The real underdog of this competition, if you ask me, is Jordin Sparks. Here's why. I remember her from auditions, and I liked her back then. She made it to Hollywood, and she's been giving solid performances every week. She's a very talented singer, and I love listening to and watching her perform. But since they got to Hollywood, she's been living in the shadow of LaKisha and Melinda (who are also both very talented). But that's why Jordin's the underdog. No, she doesn't have LaKisha's "big black woman" sound/look, and she doesn't have Melinda's charming but slightly irritating humility. As far as I know, she also doesn't have a kid at home. The first couple weeks she kind of got lost in the shuffle with all the hullabaloo surrounding La to the K and Mindy-Doo. But as everything gets sifted out, and the posers get separated from the raw talent, Jordin's been getting noticed by the judges. This week, I think I remember one of the judges calling her the Kelly Clarkson of the competition. (I might have taken that as an offense a while ago, but I like KC these days, and she did WIN Idol after all.) What makes Jordin the underdog is exactly what makes Sanjaya anything but -- TALENT. She's damn good. And unlikely, because the odds are severely in favor of the other two women. Well, or Blake. He's really cool too. But definitely not an underdog.

So do you see the difference, America?! If you want to vote for an underdog, Jordin Sparks is the way to go. She's the Max of American Idol. And if you're just voting for Sanjaya because his hair is prettier than yours, or because you feel bad for him since he thinks he can hula but really can't do that either, remember what Simon always says... this is a SINGING competition.

You're the one that I want!

Anyone who has suffered through participation in any kind of show choir (or perhaps suffered through watching a show choir performance) is all too familiar with the hand jive, Grease Lightning and probably a poodle skirt or two. I'm not sure I realized how utterly annoying Grease can be until I watched "Grease!: You're the one that I want" on NBC tonight. But regardless of its high cheese factor and boppy '50s-style music, Grease holds a special place in my heart. (Maybe it was the Grease sleepover at Karli's in 7th grade, or maybe the Grease music videos we used to make... but I won't deny that I know every word and lyric to that movie.) That's why I've been wary of letting America decide who gets to star in the new revival of one of the most popular musicals on Broadway. We see what a stellar job America has done picking winners on American Idol... sigh.

I've gotta say though, my being wary of America tainting Broadway has suddenly taken a back seat to my beef with the format and style of this show itself. This is the first week I've watched NBC's latest reality-tv debacle, and I was quite taken aback. I suppose form must follow function, and Grease is the cheesiest of the cheese. ("Tell me about it... STUD!") But all I can say about NBC's show is... yikes.

I shouldn't rag on it too much... it's a great show to watch while you work out, and it's very entertaining. So in that respect -- well done, NBC. I also have to admit up front that I have a slight bias because one of the final 6 guys (Kevin) is from Tiff's high school in Greece, NY. (Yeah. Greece. Grease. Get it?) Because Tiff knows him, I feel like I know him, and I'm very excited that he's in the final 6. Way to go, upstate NY! Plus, he's a real cutie! And very talented. Okay, but all that aside, here are my issues with this show...

First of all, these people are being cast in a Broadway show. Why aren't we seeing any acting? I understand that's the philosophy behind having to hear them all sing random pop songs instead of the music from the show... supposedly they're showing us the different sides of their characters. I also understand that Olivia Newton-John was a pop singer and NOT an actress before she got cast in the movie. (Ahem... and after she got cast too.) But I'm really hoping that in order to make it to the finals they had to prove they can act, because otherwise Broadway's in trouble.

Secondly, the overly laudatory, cheery attitude of the judges is really getting to be too much. Having Olivia Newton-John as the guest judge this week was bad enough. (P.S. can anyone say plastic surgery? Holy crap. She looks like a barbie doll of herself.) But the judges are falling all over these contestants. I never thought I'd say this, but they need a Simon Cowell. The producer of Grease, who sits on the judging panel, is trying to be like Simon... but isn't even close. I mean, okay, most of these people are pretty good. But what is the point of doing this every week if they're all going to say "Great job! You're beautiful! Any of you could be the next Sandy!" And don't even get me started on the flirting that's going on between the male host and all the male contestants. Not that I have a problem with it. This is something else I never thought I'd ever say, but I actually prefer Ryan Seacrest's bisexual flirting. He flirts with the guys and the girls, no discrimination. It's actually nice and kind of refreshing to see these kind of homoerotic overtones on this kind of show... but damn. The girls are really pretty too! The playful flirting with only the guys is getting to be a bit much, man. Share the wealth!

Thirdly, speaking of the host... what is up with the nicknames he gives to each contestant? If that's supposed to be some kind of gimmick (I really don't see the point, but okay), it's pretty lame. I mean, "the sensitive Sandy!" "the spiritual Sandy!" "the ballerina Sandy!" ... Seriously?! And then there's always the host's affectionate slap-in-the-face remark to a contestant named Matt: "I was going to call you 'the man-tears Danny,'" (the contestant looks genuinely hurt... almost like he might cry. haha.) "but I thought that was probably inappropriate." Yeah, no kidding, Sherlock. I just don't understand why they're trying to add gimmicks like that. Seriously, the music of Grease is cheesy enough. Not that we're actually hearing much Grease music, since the contestants are singing pop songs. But still.

Anyway, all that aside, here's my biggest problem with this show at the moment...

WHY ON EARTH did they bring back those two contestants who lost and never made it past Grease camp?!?!?!

It's just embarrassing for them. They're both terrible, and the producer judge actually TOLD them they're terrible (thank the lord) -- which was extra embarrassing, since he and the other judges were practically licking all of the other contestants' faces.

Both of these "second chance" people are awkward on stage, and their songs were horrendous. They were singing wrong notes, they were flat, and sharp, and... yikes. I literally hid my face in my hands while they were singing. I couldn't bear to watch. What is the producer thinking?!

I'm the first to admit that I love an underdog story. But the real underdog of this competition is Max... the guy with the big ears who "doesn't look like a Danny Zucko" and is affectionately nicknamed "the slacker Danny." That guy's outstanding, he doesn't try too hard, and he's definitely the underdog of this competition, since he doesn't have the usual "look."

Don't bring back two people who clearly shouldn't be on Broadway, just because you think "America might vote for them." This producer guy has been refreshingly blunt about how he's just trying to make more money on his show (unlike Simon Cowell, who IS just trying to make more money but pretends that's not his motivation)... so why the hell did he bring back two trainwrecks?! I don't understand it.

Anyway, if you want to see some attractive people who look vaguely like John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John (pre-plastic surgery) -- including a hottie from Rochester -- singing their little hearts out on the cheesiest show in the world, tune in to "Grease!: You're the one that I want." But don't call and order advance tickets just yet.