Rainn Wilson

I know, I know. I've neglected this blog. But here's my return to the world of TV. It's Rainn Wilson's monologue on SNL. (Rainn plays Dwight on The Office, which you all know is my fav.) For any watcher of The Office, this is a must-see. Enjoy.

CW comeback?

Every year, the E! network campaigns for one show facing impending cancellation doom. Fans can vote on E!'s website for which show they want saved, and the winner gets E!'s backing. It's worked 5 out of the 6 years E! has tried, so the odds are pretty good that the fan fav will be saved. Okay, I'll admit it. I voted. From each of the computers in the computer lab. My problem was too many of my favorite shows on the chopping block. Do I vote for Studio 60, which I've been championing from the start but has little to no chance of being saved? Do I vote for Scrubs or 30 Rock, neither of which I can imagine NBC actually dropping (hello NBC, try programming these gems at a time that's NOT against Grey's Anatomy)? Do I vote for What About Brian, a girly guilty pleasure of mine? Or The Class on NBC, which started out kind of crappy but soon became one of my favorite sitcoms? Or do I push for my old favs on the CW - Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls - which I can't imagine my life without? Well I voted for all of them. Probably not the smartest idea.

Regardless, the results were announced this week (read the article here: http://www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/), and my CW picks won! Due to incredibly close results, E! is campaigning to save both Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls!

Veronica Mars has always had this off-the-radar underground following clearly not represented in the Nielsen numbers. This is the second time to my knowledge that there's been a surprising swelling of support for the show. So if E!'s campaign works, please try watching it. It may have started out as an implausible show about a blonde high school wunderkid who solves mysteries for her dad's detective agency (I know, I know), but it has turned into a smart, sexy show with a little mystery, a little drama, a lot of quick, sarcastic humor and some really appealing characters. The main problem is that it's on against House. But if you don't have DVR, get it. Then set it. I saw one episode out of context first season and I didn't like it, but when I went back again and watched the third season straight through, I regretted not having watched it before. Really, if you tried it and didn't like it, it's worth a second chance. If you haven't seen it before, and E!'s campaign works, get on board. Especially if you're a Nielsen viewer. ;-)

As far as Gilmore Girls goes, I'm kind of surprised that it won. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Gilmore Girls. But since the Palladino writing team left, the show has become a shadow of itself. The writers are doing well with the impossible task they've been given, but the plot has gone for a crazy ride this season, and I'm not sure it has stayed true to the characters. But hey, I'm definitely up for giving the new writers another shot! Let's see if E! can successfully negotiate Alexis Bledel's salary, since I've heard that's why the next season's up in the air. I have a feeling little Rory's become more of a tiger than everyone realizes.

Anyway, good job to those who voted. I have a feeling I'll have to kiss Studio 60 goodbye forever... and maybe The Class as well. But at least I can keep up my CW watching if E!'s plan works. How do you feel about the results? Did your favs get saved?

Davis the Disser

I'm not sure how many of you are still watching Real World. I'm a bit of a late joiner -- this is the first season I've watched. I can't get enough of it, and I'm hoping MTV starts playing Real World marathons so I can see the older seasons. This week on Real World Denver, though, Davis verbally bitch-slapped all the girls in the house with his comments on their looks. I was kind of taken aback... we've seen Davis get pretty cruel in past episodes (thus insane Brooke throwing water all over him a few weeks ago), but this week he took catty to a new level.

First you have to know that there's been weirdness going on between Davis and Brooke. Davis is the token gay character, and he sleeps with Brooke. Figure that one out. Supposedly it's just sleeping, but homeboy fights with Brooke like they're dating, and Brooke has been getting confused. Shocker.

This week, Davis was out with Jen, and he inexplicably offered up criticism of how the three girls in the house look. He said that in his high school, Colie would not be considered pretty and that he thinks she's actually kind of a dog, despite her nice rack. He said that he doesn't think Brooke is pretty, honestly, and that when she looks down she has a double-chin, so she should always look up. (Really, Davis? Really?!) Then when pressed, he told Jen that she has nice skin and nice breasts but that she could stand to lose some weight. Ouch. I'm sure you're shocked that Jen went home and told the girls what Davis said (although she wouldn't reveal specifics except about the double chin).

If you've watched any episodes of Real World Denver, you know that Brooke doesn't take this kind of thing lightly. And by that, I mean she usually has some kind of intense psychotic episode of epic proportions. This week was no exception. After attempting to confront Davis at a bar (all business transactions on Real World take place in a bar), Brooke stormed home, locked herself in the bathroom, and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Then she ran into Davis' room and trashed it, breaking lamps and throwing bed dressings on the floor. Then she left some creative notes on his bed telling him to rot in hell. Classic.

You just have to admit, this is great TV. Brooke's breakdowns are irresistable, and Davis' insincere apologies just ASK for more drama. In fact, the preview for next week shows Davis spilling his guts about the Alex/Jen/Colie love triangle that everyone forgot about in the midst of Brooke's outright insanity, Tyrie's angry black man antics and Steven's reticence about being an Outward Bound slacker. Tune in at 10pm on Wednesday to see the inevitably fantastic tears-filled results.

Thank God You're Here!

Here are my TV favs of the past week!!:

Thank God You're Here: If you used your DVR or TiVo to zip through commercials with celebs in funny costumes (Jason Alexander, Angela from The Office, Kevin Nealon, Mo'Nique), you should have payed more attention. They were commercials for NBC's new comedy improv hour that tests the mettle of some of your favorite funny celebs. I'm not sure when this show's usually on, but Monday night we were treated to two one-hour episodes. I've gotta tell ya, this show ended up being way funnier than I thought it would be. If you like Whose Line is it Anyway or you're in to improv at all, you've got to watch it. If you've always wondered whether comedian celebs are funny without clever script writers whispering in their ears, you've got to watch it. If none of these apply to you, but you have a pulse, you should watch it anyway. The premise of the show is that celebrities who think they're funny or good at improv are dressed up in costumes they've never seen before, and led to sets they've never been on, to play characters revealed to them once they get on the set. Some examples: a game show host, a mountain climbing expedition leader, an excavating professor, a doctor hawking his innovative (read: sketchy) product on a talk show. The other "characters" in the scene are in on the joke and great at improv, directing the scenes by prompting (or trapping) the stars into thinking on their feet. For instance, a character said to the star who stepped on to a game show set: "Remind the audience how this game is played!" I'll admit that I'm a little wary, since the show isn't live and is thoroughly edited. But if you can get past that, it's really worth a watch. (And if you watch ANY reality TV at ALL, you should be able to get past it. I mean, hello people, not only is reality TV scripted and brilliantly edited, but scenes are filmed multiple times to get different camera angles!) So basically, get past it and tune in -- I laughed for two hours straight.

Lost: Girl-on-girl catfight in the jungle. Guys, I bet you loved it. I'm a straight female, and I even loved it. Good stuff.

ANTM: Just a few comments... Thank you Tyra for admitting you guys totally screwed up Brittany's hair, and thanks for offering to fix it. Cuz I really can't stand watching that ratty mess for another week. 50 Cent pushed Jael into the pool. Can you blame him? Sarah the Pose-y Photographer got sent home. Good. Natasha's still a crazy mess. Even better. Whitney called the other models "skinny bitches." Amen. Nicole Richie stirred up trouble. I'm shocked. (Ok, I'm actually laughing my ass off.) Renee got hers. Finally. And last but not least... Wholahay? I love this show.

The Office: I think this about sums it up: STAB ME IN THE HEART. I can't take any more of this Pam/Jim torture. That scene at the soda machine felt like water torture to me. But things are looking up -- Pam and Roy are officially over. Did the scene in the diner feel like foreshadowing to anyone else? I'm well aware that Pam and Jim will never really get together (see: X-Files' sexual tension success vs. Moonlighting's sexual fulfillment disaster... these writers aren't stupid), but Roy's encouragement of the JAM pairing makes me hope Pam takes some action. Karen was especially horrible this week. Might I remind you of the moment in the break room when she snipped at Jim to get back to selling paper so he could take her on a trip? Yikes. Michael Scott is still hilarious, and his inexplicable and unfounded hatred of Toby is one of my favorite parts of The Office. Thursday's Dwight-As-Superhero storyline, besides being a shameless plug for NBC's Heroes, was absolutely hilarious and completely consistent with the characters. That's what I love most about The Office. Well done, writers. Every single week.

Grey's: Just kidding. No new episode, yet again. Come on, Grey's! I'm sick of repeats. You think having Meredith die and George and Izzy get it on during Sweeps exempted you from new storylines?! Seriously?!

American Idol: I'm watching it as I write this, so I'll just give a few gut reactions. Jenny from the Block was the guest judge, and unlike most of the other guests, she actually gave the contestants vocal coaching to make their songs better (or at least more Latin-ish). Yay for that. But if this was Latin week, where were the hot Latin men, I ask you?! Anyway, on to the performers. Last week Mindy Doo used Sanjaya's flat iron; tonight she used his hair teaser. Jordin reminds J-Lo of Michael Jackson? What was it, the side ponytail and girlish facial features? Yikes. Hot-pants Haley's got to go. And I'm sure Sir Sanjaya the Terrible is staying yet again... but at least he looks less like an adolescent female with that facial hair.

So there's my favs of the week! Next week, watch Thank God You're Here. It really is funny.

"New York is in the motherf*cking house!!"

As you all know, my favorite clock-craving crazy from VH1's Flavor of Love was "New York," aka Tiffany. For those of you who watched, well, you've GOT to remember her. For those of you who didn't, a) why the hell not?, and b) New York was the character on the show whose hilarious soundbytes made no sense, whose mother was just as insane as she is, and whose jealous obsession with Flavor Flav got her to the final two and then ultimately dissed in both seasons of the show.

Hopefully you also watched New York's show, "I Love New York," on VH1. It's hilarious. New York is as cracked-out as ever, and her soundbytes are as hilarious as they used to be. The show is set up like Flav's, down to the pimped-out velveteen house and the chunky prizes winners wear around their necks. Not surprising, since Flav is the producer. I called from the beginning that the final two men would be Chance, the ultimate Thug who New York compares to Flav, and Tango, the sensitive lover who gives New York a taste of her own drama-queen medicine. But I never would have predicted what went down in the season finale. I had a hunch New York would pick Tango, since Chance was too much of a loose cannon. In New York's words, "Chance is a straight-up thug. I just hope he don't pull out a gun and start cappin' motherf*ckers." True dat. But in an unsuspected twist, after New York announced his victory, Tango whipped out a diamond and proposed! New York nearly had a heart attack. She was clearly pressured into saying yes (pay no attention to the cameras behind the curtain!!), but she swifty backed down, muttering "what the hell did I just do?!" Such great TV.

If you ever watched Flavor of Love or I Love NY, tune in to the Reunion show in two weeks to see what ended up happening. Do I hear an I Love NY 2?! I hope so!!! If you didn't watch either show, check out VH1's "V-Spot" to see funny clips from the show so you can see what you've been missing!! (http://www.vh1.com/vspot/)

Jim's my favorite April fool

In honor of April Fools' Day (is that apostrophe right? I'm assuming there's more than one fool... Ok I'm a geek), and in the spirit of procrastination, I'd like to note my top five favorite pranks from The Office. Think of them as suggestions for your own tomfoolery... especially if you have Dwight Shrute-like colleagues. If you don't work in an office, or if you actually like your coworkers (or, I suppose, if you have serious and/or seriously annoying coworkers who would report you to corporate and get you fired or something), then you can just remember how much you love The Office and have a little laugh.

There have been SO many pranks on the show that it's incredibly difficult to pick a fave-five. (Hey thanks for the catch phrase, t-mobile!) And as you all know, I'm in love with Jim Halpert, so I basically think everything he does on the show is the greatest thing in the world. But after thinking about it for a little while (not long enough, since I have to get back to my stats paper... but in the scheme of things, probably too long, since I have to get back to my stats paper), here are my picks:

5) Jim pranks Dwight (season 3): After the office staff discovers a bat inside Dunder Mifflin, Jim tells Dwight that he thinks the bat bit him (Jim). Then during the rest of the day, Jim starts displaying "symptoms" of turning into a vampire. Of course, Dwight believes him. (Note: this prank narrowly beats Jim convincing Dwight in the season 1 episode "Drug Testing" that Dwight had smoked pot and lost his memory.)

4) Jim pranks Michael (season 3): Michael inappropriately asks Jim to hire a hot stripper to come to the office for Phyllis' wedding shower. Instead of hiring a sexy naked hottie, Jim hires an educational speaker dressed up as Ben Franklin. Of course Michael thinks it's a stripper theme. Hilarity ensues.

3) Jim and Pam prank Andy (season 3): Just when you thought office sycophant Andy couldn't possibly get more annoying, he shows up at work with a new cell phone ring -- a recording of him singing a really irritating song (I think it was Rockin' Robin? I can't remember at the moment)... in multiple-part harmony with HIMSELF. He proceeds to call himself from his desk phone so everyone can hear his new ring. Jim and Pam, in their triumphant return to the world of team-tag pranking, steal Andy's phone, hide it in the ceiling, and call him repeatedly.

2) Jim and Pam prank Dwight (season 1): In perhaps the most elaborate and intricately planned prank of the series, Jim and Pam take advantage of Dwight's paranoia with hilarious results. Dwight indicates to Jim that he thinks members of the office are forming Survivor-like alliances in order to avoid getting laid off. Jim and Pam take this conspiracy theory and run, pretending to overhear people's plans not to "get kicked off" and even staging a secret phonecall in the warehouse, convincing Dwight to stuff himself inside a taped-up storage box in order to learn the other tribes' secrets. With Jim and Pam's encouragement, Dwight even goes so far as to dye his hair in an attempt to go undercover. Just thinking about this one makes me laugh. It was great. And the best part was that the prank lasted for the whole episode!

Now my absolute favorite...

1) Jim and Pam prank Dwight (season 2?): It was a typical Thursday in the office, until Jim realized that Dwight thought it was Friday. Jim and Pam want to keep it that way, so they proceed to talk about "The Apprentice episode last night," make phone calls to friends about weekend plans, and do everything in their power to keep up the charade that today is Friday. This prank is so effective that for the first time in his life, Dwight doesn't come in to work Friday morning -- because he thinks it's Saturday! One of the funniest Office plotlines ever.

I had a hard time choosing and ordering these five, because there are SO many pranks on this show, and they're all so funny. I guess that's what you get when one of the writers (the guy who plays Ryan the Temp) used to do Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher!

How do your favorite pranks on The Office compare to mine? And have you ever tried anything like this in real life? Maybe today's the day to start.

Happy April Fools' Day!!!

Goodbye-a Sanjaya

One word. "Ponyhawk."

You've gotta give it to this Sanjaya kid -- he's got quite the clever strategy. Besides having the backing of the anti- American Idol web wonder "votefortheworst.com" and Howard Stern (the chauvenistic shock jock, not the one claiming to be Anna Nicole's baby's dad), he has the most varied collection of hair-don'ts in the history of the show. He teases it, or he uses a flat iron, and the judges, who can't think of anything good to say about his singing, comment on his hair every week. This week though... wow. In honor of guest judge Gwen Stefani (who, by the way, makes a much better performer than vocal coach... yikes), Sanjaya styled his hair in a fake mohawk (Paula called it a faux-hawk) made up of seven tiny ponytails. Oh, Sanjaya.

He's a terrible performer -- he's just GOT to go. But this week, his combination teeny bopper girl/ anti-establishment adult male fan base, his bright white teeth, and his mysterious ponyhawk spared him from the bottom three. Safe yet again. Looks like smug Sanjaya's got nine lives. And I fear it's just gonna get worse. This week Chris Sligh went home. Understandable, considering his slow unraveling the last few weeks. (But the guy's actually talented! No, seriously. If you don't remember from earlier in the season that he's actually pretty good, check out his band's video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ps3b_FTTCo) But we all know Sanjaya should have gone a long time ago. Hopefully soon the buzz will die down and so will Sanjaya's laughable popularity. I guess he makes for good TV. But still. America. I beg of you. Stop voting for Sanjaya. Because if Jordin or Mindy Doo or Blake or "Kiki" get kicked off in lieu of Sanjaya the Hairtastic, I'm calling you all up and convincing you individually that you're doing the world a disservice. And believe me, you don't want that.

Underdog?: the difference between Max and Sanjaya

I've already admitted that I watch (and now love) the Grease show. I can't help it -- I'm seriously addicted. But now I have an even bigger secret. I've become an American Idol-watcher.

Before this season, I had only seen a handful of episodes. The season Clay Aiken charmed those of us who love a good closet case, I watched the last couple weeks. I also watched the last couple weeks during the season with Bo Bice and Constantine. (Who won that year? Carrie Underwood?) Anyway, that's it. I just never got into it... I think because I always had class or rehearsals when it was on (and DIDN'T have the wonder of DVR like I do now). Also, I can't stand the audition episodes, so I usually never make it past them. Regardless, I've gotten hooked this season (thanks to the DVR gods above. Watch Idol without DVR at your own peril). I'm not going to bore you with a run-down of my opinions on each contestant, although opinions I do have. Instead, I'd just like to briefly opine on what it means to be an underdog and who the real underdogs are in the world of reality TV. (Well, okay, just the Grease show and American Idol. Ashamedly, I do watch hordes of other reality TV shows, but we won't get into those now. Except to say that Sisely is the underdog on the Pussycat Dolls show, not Chelsea or Mariela. Read further to find out why.)

We'll start with the Grease show, because it offers the epitome of an underdog story: Max. How much do you love Max?! Max is a true underdog, and here's why... he's super talented!! He came into the competition looking like some kid you vaguely remember from high school, and his nickname on the show is "Slacker Danny." Unlike Austin and Jason, Max hasn't been on (or off) Broadway. Unlike Chad or Derek, he doesn't have the classic Danny look. Unlike Kevin, he's not too shy to be on Broadway, and unlike Matt, he doesn't suck. He's cute in a best-friend-who-makes-you-laugh kind of way, and in my opinion, he's the best singer in the competition. He's been criticized by the judges for not looking like Danny, for being too twerpy, for having big ears, etc etc... but they greased his hair and had him lift weights, and now he really looks like he could lead a gang (and look pretty darn cute doing it). What makes him the underdog isn't that he's BAD, and it's not that he's UGLY. Cuz he's not! And it's also not that he had bell's palsy as a kid (although... wow). No, he's an underdog because he's GOOD. Good but unlikely. He faced seemingly insurmountable odds (come on, admit it, at the beginning you liked Max but never thought he'd make it to the finals), and he does well every week DESPITE those odds. He's a fighter, he has natural talent, and now he made it into the finals. Because who doesn't love an underdog story? (PS I usually vote for Max online every week. I'll admit that this week I actually also voted via phone. Sad, I know.)

So in light of Max's story, who's the underdog of American Idol? Or, let's start here... who ISN'T the underdog of American Idol? SANJAYA. Why? Because he's AWFUL. He's worse than bad. He's HIDEOUS. He can style his hair like Paula all he wants... it doesn't make him any better. Unlike Max, Sanjaya sucks. I'm not just being mean here people, he's BAD. Like Simon said this week, the shots of the girl sobbing all through his performance explains it all. America, you're the ones who should be crying right now. Because instead of eliminating Sanjaya (who should have been eliminated the very first week, nevermind making it into the top 10), you eliminated Stephanie. And Sanjaya wasn't even in the bottom two!! Really? Steph and Chris in the bottom two?! America, you've got to understand that he is NOT the underdog of this competition. He's the joke. Every week they tell him his smile's pretty... because there's nothing they can say about his singing, since it's so bad that it's beyond help. He's almost like William Hung (ok, not THAT bad, but still!), except this time he made it in, unlike Hung, who got famous from his audition. But I don't think anyone thought Hung was the underdog. He was the joke. And the same goes for Sanjaya. So please stop voting for him. It's not funny anymore. And if you're voting for him because you think he's the underdog, think again.

The real underdog of this competition, if you ask me, is Jordin Sparks. Here's why. I remember her from auditions, and I liked her back then. She made it to Hollywood, and she's been giving solid performances every week. She's a very talented singer, and I love listening to and watching her perform. But since they got to Hollywood, she's been living in the shadow of LaKisha and Melinda (who are also both very talented). But that's why Jordin's the underdog. No, she doesn't have LaKisha's "big black woman" sound/look, and she doesn't have Melinda's charming but slightly irritating humility. As far as I know, she also doesn't have a kid at home. The first couple weeks she kind of got lost in the shuffle with all the hullabaloo surrounding La to the K and Mindy-Doo. But as everything gets sifted out, and the posers get separated from the raw talent, Jordin's been getting noticed by the judges. This week, I think I remember one of the judges calling her the Kelly Clarkson of the competition. (I might have taken that as an offense a while ago, but I like KC these days, and she did WIN Idol after all.) What makes Jordin the underdog is exactly what makes Sanjaya anything but -- TALENT. She's damn good. And unlikely, because the odds are severely in favor of the other two women. Well, or Blake. He's really cool too. But definitely not an underdog.

So do you see the difference, America?! If you want to vote for an underdog, Jordin Sparks is the way to go. She's the Max of American Idol. And if you're just voting for Sanjaya because his hair is prettier than yours, or because you feel bad for him since he thinks he can hula but really can't do that either, remember what Simon always says... this is a SINGING competition.

Johnny-Come-Latelys

First of all, Wimbledon announced this week that it will finally start paying male and female champions equal prize money. HELLOOOO? Wimbledon hasn't been paying equal prize money?! You've got to be kidding me. Welcome to the 21st century, England. Supposedly the other tennis tournaments dispensed with the discrimintation years ago. Surprise, surprise... Wimbledon's just coming around. As my sister says, leave it to a bunch of old, white, elitists to be the last in line. ::sigh:: Oh well, at least they fixed it now.

Secondly, Nielsen Media Ratings announced this week that it will start putting ratings boxes in college dorms, college apartments, and frat and sorority houses. Thank you, Nielsen!!! I've said for years that it's completely absurd that college students aren't factored into TV ratings at all. I realize that college kids watch the least TV out of any age group, but knowing what TV they DO watch is really important!!! Not only do they make up the majority of the ever-sought-after 18-24 demographic... there are plenty of shows targeted specifically to college kids, including almost all the programming on the CW. After running a pilot group, Nielsen discovered that including college kids in the ratings increased Grey's Anatomy's numbers by 53% and America's Next Top Model's numbers by a substantial percentage I can't remember right now... not to mention its severe impact on televised sporting events! This is the stuff advertisers should want to know... and that's the reason Nielsen ratings exist in the first place! To set advertising rates. (And especially to capture the 18-24 market.) I don't understand why they haven't done this before, but I'm really glad they're finally doing it now.

So this blog entry is a shout-out to two Johnny-Come-Latelys. It's pretty disappointing you weren't on board sooner... but welcome, Wimbledon and Nielsen

Redemption

I just briefly wanted to say that I retract my criticism of Ashton Kutcher and the other producers of Beauty and the Geek. They DID come through in the end, and now the world is right again. So clearly they read my blog. ;-) Just kidding.

But seriously, they changed the format of the final elimination to REALLY measure the contestants' transformations. Instead of asking them lame questions about each other to determine which team wins (like they did in the other seasons), the producers surprised the contestants by bringing back all of their fellow competitors to VOTE to determine which team made the greatest transformation. Needless to say, evil CeCe got hers this week. And she deserved every one of those people telling her she's evil, because she is. In her final interview, she said: "Any of those girls who think they could learn something from some geeky guy... well they're as stupid as they look." Gee CeCe, that's one of your greatest hits, along with "These guys are big loser nerds," and "I only came here for the money."

So thank you, producers, for recognizing and subsequently rectifying the problem -- and for dissuading these types of competitors from tainting the show in the future. And yay for the brunettes for getting a chance to do unto CeCe as she did unto them.

You're the one that I want!

Anyone who has suffered through participation in any kind of show choir (or perhaps suffered through watching a show choir performance) is all too familiar with the hand jive, Grease Lightning and probably a poodle skirt or two. I'm not sure I realized how utterly annoying Grease can be until I watched "Grease!: You're the one that I want" on NBC tonight. But regardless of its high cheese factor and boppy '50s-style music, Grease holds a special place in my heart. (Maybe it was the Grease sleepover at Karli's in 7th grade, or maybe the Grease music videos we used to make... but I won't deny that I know every word and lyric to that movie.) That's why I've been wary of letting America decide who gets to star in the new revival of one of the most popular musicals on Broadway. We see what a stellar job America has done picking winners on American Idol... sigh.

I've gotta say though, my being wary of America tainting Broadway has suddenly taken a back seat to my beef with the format and style of this show itself. This is the first week I've watched NBC's latest reality-tv debacle, and I was quite taken aback. I suppose form must follow function, and Grease is the cheesiest of the cheese. ("Tell me about it... STUD!") But all I can say about NBC's show is... yikes.

I shouldn't rag on it too much... it's a great show to watch while you work out, and it's very entertaining. So in that respect -- well done, NBC. I also have to admit up front that I have a slight bias because one of the final 6 guys (Kevin) is from Tiff's high school in Greece, NY. (Yeah. Greece. Grease. Get it?) Because Tiff knows him, I feel like I know him, and I'm very excited that he's in the final 6. Way to go, upstate NY! Plus, he's a real cutie! And very talented. Okay, but all that aside, here are my issues with this show...

First of all, these people are being cast in a Broadway show. Why aren't we seeing any acting? I understand that's the philosophy behind having to hear them all sing random pop songs instead of the music from the show... supposedly they're showing us the different sides of their characters. I also understand that Olivia Newton-John was a pop singer and NOT an actress before she got cast in the movie. (Ahem... and after she got cast too.) But I'm really hoping that in order to make it to the finals they had to prove they can act, because otherwise Broadway's in trouble.

Secondly, the overly laudatory, cheery attitude of the judges is really getting to be too much. Having Olivia Newton-John as the guest judge this week was bad enough. (P.S. can anyone say plastic surgery? Holy crap. She looks like a barbie doll of herself.) But the judges are falling all over these contestants. I never thought I'd say this, but they need a Simon Cowell. The producer of Grease, who sits on the judging panel, is trying to be like Simon... but isn't even close. I mean, okay, most of these people are pretty good. But what is the point of doing this every week if they're all going to say "Great job! You're beautiful! Any of you could be the next Sandy!" And don't even get me started on the flirting that's going on between the male host and all the male contestants. Not that I have a problem with it. This is something else I never thought I'd ever say, but I actually prefer Ryan Seacrest's bisexual flirting. He flirts with the guys and the girls, no discrimination. It's actually nice and kind of refreshing to see these kind of homoerotic overtones on this kind of show... but damn. The girls are really pretty too! The playful flirting with only the guys is getting to be a bit much, man. Share the wealth!

Thirdly, speaking of the host... what is up with the nicknames he gives to each contestant? If that's supposed to be some kind of gimmick (I really don't see the point, but okay), it's pretty lame. I mean, "the sensitive Sandy!" "the spiritual Sandy!" "the ballerina Sandy!" ... Seriously?! And then there's always the host's affectionate slap-in-the-face remark to a contestant named Matt: "I was going to call you 'the man-tears Danny,'" (the contestant looks genuinely hurt... almost like he might cry. haha.) "but I thought that was probably inappropriate." Yeah, no kidding, Sherlock. I just don't understand why they're trying to add gimmicks like that. Seriously, the music of Grease is cheesy enough. Not that we're actually hearing much Grease music, since the contestants are singing pop songs. But still.

Anyway, all that aside, here's my biggest problem with this show at the moment...

WHY ON EARTH did they bring back those two contestants who lost and never made it past Grease camp?!?!?!

It's just embarrassing for them. They're both terrible, and the producer judge actually TOLD them they're terrible (thank the lord) -- which was extra embarrassing, since he and the other judges were practically licking all of the other contestants' faces.

Both of these "second chance" people are awkward on stage, and their songs were horrendous. They were singing wrong notes, they were flat, and sharp, and... yikes. I literally hid my face in my hands while they were singing. I couldn't bear to watch. What is the producer thinking?!

I'm the first to admit that I love an underdog story. But the real underdog of this competition is Max... the guy with the big ears who "doesn't look like a Danny Zucko" and is affectionately nicknamed "the slacker Danny." That guy's outstanding, he doesn't try too hard, and he's definitely the underdog of this competition, since he doesn't have the usual "look."

Don't bring back two people who clearly shouldn't be on Broadway, just because you think "America might vote for them." This producer guy has been refreshingly blunt about how he's just trying to make more money on his show (unlike Simon Cowell, who IS just trying to make more money but pretends that's not his motivation)... so why the hell did he bring back two trainwrecks?! I don't understand it.

Anyway, if you want to see some attractive people who look vaguely like John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John (pre-plastic surgery) -- including a hottie from Rochester -- singing their little hearts out on the cheesiest show in the world, tune in to "Grease!: You're the one that I want." But don't call and order advance tickets just yet.

Social experiment gone bad

Okay, I'd just like to say... I was on board.

The last two seasons, I was the big, overly vocal champion for "Beauty and the Geek."

I overlooked that it was Ashton Kutcher's show. The guy's not so bad. I overlooked the name of the show. I mean, after all, they SAID it's a social experiment. They only used those words in the title because although the contestants might come in holding those stereotypes, the point is to figure out that they're just stereotypes. (Classic announcer voice: "Can they become more than just the beauty and the geek??") I even overlooked the fact that they give the guys makeovers during the season. First of all, I've gotta admit that I love seeing makeovers. But more importantly, they had to give the guys some confidence, right? (Eh, okay, I'm still a little shaky with that one.)

But the point is... I was on board.

Then this season reared its ugly head. No pun intended. When I watch this season, I have knots in my stomach and trouble breathing. And no, it's not because I think the guys are hot, although a few of them are actually lookers. No. It's because I'm literally having anxiety attacks FOR the brunette girls in the group.

You might be saying... "What? What did she say?? Brunette girls??!! What does she mean by that?"

I mean brunette girls. Because this season, the blondes (ahem, bottle blondes, if I do say so myself, but I don't want to get as catty as everyone else...) have teamed up against THE BRUNETTE GIRLS. This is not a joke. And as of tonight, the brunettes have been effectively ELIMINATED from the competition. Yep. Voted out. I am having flashbacks to high school when all the "cool" kids (I'm throwing up in my mouth as I even say those words) used to treat me exactly how the blondes on this show are treating the brunettes. And now not only have the brunettes been relegated to the loser table in the cafeteria and faced with catty taunting... they've actually been eliminated.

The blonde girls have decided that the brunettes aren't as cool as they are. (This is not just pent-up high school hostility talking. Tonight one of the more vile of the blonde bunch said to Andrea, one of the brunettes, that Andrea shouldn't sit around playing chess like a nerd. Yeah. Even though Andrea's partner was TEACHING her chess, and the point of the show is to learn from your partner. But the blondes don't care about that... they literally sunbathe by the pool every day. And Vile Blonde Girl even said to Andrea "Sorry I'm cooler than you." Hello? Come on, people!!! What happened to the point of this show?! It's gone! You've completely MISSED it. Ahh!)

I'm very upset about this season. I started out pretty wary when I found out in the first episode that some of the (blonde) girls were Playboy models and WWF ring girls... what happened to using regular people?

But this is beyond bad. In the past two seasons, there were usually one or two contestants who clearly only cared about winning the money and getting the hell out and didn't give a damn about Ashton's "social experiment" or breaking stereotypes, etc. There was only one from each season that I remember. Clearly this season there are ZERO girls left who care about learning anything from the experience. It's very upsetting.

I guess I'm ranting now, but I do not need to watch high school on TV. I've had confrontations before exactly like Andrea and vile girl had tonight. It's not pleasant. And vile girls like that are just plain mean. They're terrible to the guys, and they're even meaner to the other girls. And I just can't stand it. This is not high school gym class. Get over it. Participate in the spirit of this show or get out. I just feel like the producers should DO something about this. They can't have another season of this show if this is how everyone's going to play. Not only is it defeating the purpose, but it's giving TV time and prize money to cruelty. I'm OVER it.

And on a final note, please don't be like this to other people. If you're someone who acts like these girls act, you make the rest of us feel pretty crappy. And please don't try out for a TV show that's supposed to be a social experiment where you're supposed to learn that there's more to everyone than you thought before. Cuz clearly you don't care. It's never okay to make someone feel like a piece of crap just because you think you're cooler or more attractive than they are.

Okay, I'm done. And I'm officially OFF board.

Chloe! I need it NOW!!!

In the first four hours of the sixth day of 24...

-The U.S. government frees Jack from a Chinese prison only to hand him over to terrorists to be killed.
-Jack bites a terrorist in the neck (blood dripping down chin included).
-The guy who plays Taj in the Van Wilder movies and Kumar in "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" holds up a neighboring family at gunpoint while bleeding to death in their living room.
-Assasinated president David Palmer's brother Wayne is now president, and his sister Sandra is a senator/lawyer. (What are they, the Kennedys? Not that I'm complaining -- Wayne makes a much better president than that slimeball Logan last season. And I like that when he gets angry he speaks in quiet, low tones. Very nice. But nobody's as great as David Palmer. Not even his brother.)
-The guy who played quirky, stuttering John Cage on Ally McBeal has his Texan claws into Palmer and underhandedly tries to convince him to lock everyone with Middle-Eastern-sounding names up in some kind of Gitmo-like "terrorist detention facility." (He's been partially successful, too. And I fear he's only just begun.)
-Apparently Karen Hayes works in the White House now, and somewhere between seasons 5 and 6 she and Buchanan got hitched. (Better match than Michelle, I must say. Much closer to his AGE. Ahem.)
-Chloe's ex-husband Morris is back and working at CTU. His sauciness is much appreciated, since they've toned the now-brunette Chloe down a bit (boo) -- and hey, why is Milo back - and in a managerial position? Talk about nine lives. I liked him better as a pot-smoking peon. (OK, they never SAID he smoked pot. But I mean, come on.)
-Jack actually works WITH a former terrorist to catch another terrorist. Yes, you heard me right.
-Jack shoots and kills his friend and fellow CTU agent Curtis to protect the former terrorist guy. (Not as shocking as the deaths of Edgar, Tony and Michelle last season, but still. Nobody's safe on this show!)
-Oh, and Jack quits his job. (Not that I'm actually sure he was ever getting a paycheck.)
-And at the end of the two-night season premiere filled with bomb after bomb, the ultimate nightmare happened -- a nuclear explosion in Los Angeles County.

Talk about a jam-packed four hours. (And there's plenty I left out!)

I thought I'd be remiss if I didn't mention 24 in this little blog, since I know that some of my friends who occassionally read this like when I talk about TV -- and also like 24. I'm going to have a hard time waiting until next week to see what happens! (I've never watched it on TV before, only on DVD.) I'm very concerned that Jack was in the radiation zone of that bomb. I saw on the preview that he calls Buchanan up and un-quits his job. But I heard that Kiefer told Larry King in a recent interview that the show is well-equipped to go on without Jack Bauer. (Please! No!! Say it's not so!!!)

So what say you, 24 viewers? Will they kill off Jack at the end of this season? And I don't mean "kill" him, like at the end of most of the other seasons. I mean KILL him. Or will they be smart and either not have had him in the radiation zone or give him a miraculous recovery?

By the way, I agree with Entertainment Weekly that I am not looking forward to having to see the aftermath of the explosion. I've seen enough propaganda videos from WW2 and the Red Scare to know that I have no interest in seeing people's skin melting off of them and whatnot... here's hoping they keep it clean. Although they did have Jack very graphically bite someone to death just a few hours earlier.

And hey, you have to give it to 24 for going there. On basically every show that involves a nuclear attack, the attackers are stopped in the nick of time. 24 has never been afraid to have bombs go off (even in CTU), to have deadly gas permeate buildings, and to show bioterrorist threats fully executed, even at the peril of CTU's own staff. I guess that's part of the draw of the show. But I'm having trouble thinking of any show on TV at all that actually has had a nuclear attack happen.

By the way, if you're wondering whether or not I'm becoming more paranoid by the day, the answer's yes. But, as Charles Schultz says, "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." I'm just hoping against hope that there's someone like Jack Bauer out there, biting people's necks and deactivating bombs and kicking ticking people through subway doors right as they push the trigger.

Exactly what I suggested. Well done.

Well, all I have to say is next week on The Office, they're merging the Scranton and Stamford branches, which means Pam and Jim will be back in the same office! (Pay no attention to the slutty sales rep behind the curtain.) And Variety reported today that NBC has officially signed Studio 60 for a full year. Clearly the writers, producers and executives of these two brilliant shows have been reading my blog and checking my away messages, which obviously helped them make these decisions, since they're doing exactly what I suggested.
(wink, wink. nudge, nudge. Hehe. Wouldn't it be nice if that's how it worked?!)

Quality TV wins again!!

(Oh, and on a side note -- the house and the senate and... wait for it... Rummy's gone! Which I know has nothing to do with quality TV, but I have to say I'm thrilled.)

TV rundown: Confessions of an obsessed fan

I'm getting pretty excited for November sweeps (insert teasing here about how TV is my life). I was really bummed last week that TV was full of reruns, and not having Studio 60 this Monday started this week off with disappointment as well. (Not to mention outrage at the Fox News article about Studio 60's possible demise... see last blog entry.) I proceeded to be disappointed Tuesday when I tuned in to Gilmore Girls only to see Rory re-opening that rocket from Logan. Reruns! Curses! But the rest of my shows came through. I decided to write a little something about a few of my favorite TV moments from this week.

Very briefly, I'd like to say that I can't believe I haven't been watching Veronica Mars all this time. I just started watching it this season, and I love it! It's cute and very clever. But where has Piz been lately? Hopefully they're saving him for sweeps week.

I'm so glad Fox is back to its regular programming. That means House is back! This week's episode was as good as ever. And House is as bitter as ever! Gotta love it. I can't believe he got arrested. Actually, what I can't believe is that we hadn't ever seen him arrested before. How great was it when Cuddy checked the pregnancy test at the end? Every week I laugh so hard when House cracks jokes about such-and-such not being "good for baby" - but I think everyone secretly wondered if she really was pregnant. That was a great moment. Speaking of Fox programming, I know I'm probably the only person in the world who watches it, but I'm glad Standoff is back too. This week's episode was surprisingly touching. (And a little gross, with that blood spilling all over the floor.) I just hope it doesn't get cancelled.

Again on Fox, Wednesday night's Bones did not disappoint. I liked the storyline this week - pagent stage moms always make for an exciting murder mystery. I didn't expect the killer to be one of the girls. Tap shoes, eh?... I always thought they'd make for a pretty good weapon. In this hopeless romantic's opinion, the best parts of this week's episode were the date Angela and Hodges went on and the scene between Booth and Bones at the end. I'm relieved that whatever's going on between Booth and Cam is over. But I'll admit it - the Booth/Bones relationship is the reason I watch. So let's move on.

I'm getting a little tired of The Nine. It's one of those shows I DVR or watch every week, but then once the next week comes I can't remember what happened. I really liked the premise when the show started, but I've been losing interest. I think they're dragging it out a little too much. I love the girl from 24, and I think all the acting is great. I'm still curious about what happened in those missing 52 hours, so I guess that's a good sign, but every week the show ends leaving me dissatisfied with what they revealed - or, more importantly, didn't reveal. Hopefully November sweeps will provide some impetus for revelation - or at least a little excitement.

Anyway, let's move on to the best night of TV - Thursday! I still haven't started watching Ugly Betty, but I DVRed it this week. Everyone keeps telling me to watch it. So my opinion on that is forthcoming.

The Office! Oh how I love thee. This week's episode was jam-packed with stuff to process. The episode was written by the girl who plays Kelly. Which makes Michael's impression of Kelly that much more hilarious. (Is there anyone who doesn't sit there thinking, "AHH! Kelly, SHUT UP." That character just grates on your nerves. So Michael's impression had me in hysterics.) I have a love/hate relationship with Michael Scott. (I had a dream about him the other night... I think maybe that's a sign you're watching too much of The Office.) We all knew a Dwali celebration would be perfect fodder for Michael's insensitivity, and he didn't disappoint. And yet when that episode ended, I felt so bad for him. Proposing to Carol in front of all those people was classic Michael Scott behavior... as was being surprised when she said no. And - ew - then he tried to kiss Pam!! But admit it, that wasn't unexpected. (Neither was Pam's deadpan response.) I'll just never cease to be amazed by these writers and how well they know the characters. I'm sick of reading reviews where people say they're warming up to that other girl Jim's working with (I refuse to even remember her name). Is there anyone else out there who wants Jim and Pam to be reunited?! Come on, people. I almost died when Pam texted Jim this week. (And very nearly had a heart attack when he was passed out on his desk and didn't answer.) Is it just me, or did you carefully inspect the TV for the rest of the half hour to see if Jim was anywhere near his phone -- and wait impatiently, hoping he'd text her back at the end? Also, I thought it might just be my insanity - I freely admit I'm obsessed with Pam and Jim - that made me wonder whether these two are always sending texts back and forth, until I read EW online and the writer also mentioned wondering that. (Yes! I'm not the only obsessed one!) I heard that next week the Scranton branch is closing, which I knew was going to happen because that's what happened on the British version. This leaves me with great hope that Pam and Jim will be reunited once again during sweeps. Even if you're not a fan, cross your fingers - if only to maintain the sanity of your friend Lisa.

Last but not least, Grey's Anatomy. How great was the Bailey/Cristina/Burke storyline this week? Maybe it's because for so long Bailey was portrayed as such a hard-ass, but there's something about seeing her insecurities that's very satisfying to me -- and manages to conjure up huge amounts of sympathy, too. Actually, maybe that's it... Cristina and Burke are portrayed the same way as Bailey. So I guess it's the parallels between the three of them - there's just something about seeing each of their raw motives and blatent insecurity. And I don't think the storyline is over, either... because by the looks Burke and Bailey both gave Cristina at the end of the episode, there's definitely more to come. (It's not just me, right? Bailey definitely figured out Cristina's the one who erased her name.) I feel so bad for George - and I thought the "are you the chicken or the pig? the ham or the eggs?" line was totally cute. When he called Callie a pig - that was classic George. Speaking of classic George, how great was the scene in the elevator when George said he'd be Meredith's Cristina if she'd be his Izzie? And who wasn't cheering for Izzie when she figured out the girl with the burn on her hand did it on purpose? Sorry Meredith, but your smugness is not McCharming. Speaking of, I think the best line of the episode was when Izzie said, "McDreamy's McSister is McBitchy!" I love that the McDreamy nickname has spiralled into a whole "thing"... McSteamy, McVet, etc. It's cute, and for some reason it never gets old. Seriously.

Okay, I guess that's it for my TV rundown. Of course those weren't the only shows I watched, but those are the noteworthy ones of the week. If you even bothered to read any of this, you may now go back to your regularly scheduled programming. (It's Saturday afternoon, so there's not much on TV... except lots o' pop culture goodness on VH1... otherwise I suggest going outside. At least till Sunday night rolls around. Then Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters will be set to record on my DVR...)

Requiem

I just wanted to offer a requiem for Studio 60 as it goes the way of most of the rest of Aaron Sorkin's work. I'm sick of listening to people bitch about how it's too autobiographical and muttering about Sorkin's self-importance and megalomania. (Hello people, he's a writer/producer. And a good one, at that. What do you expect?) Granted, I'm slightly biased - I happen to be one of the biggest Sports Night fans you'll ever find. (For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, Sports Night is a brilliant 30-minute comedy Sorkin wrote in the late '90s that only survived two seasons. Dear smart people: get it from Netflix. You'll thank me.) But regardless, I love Sorkin's quick, witty dialogue - and I think he's a fricking genius.

I've read all the articles; I hear the complaints. "Why should we CARE about yuppie television writers on a Saturday Night Live- type show? It's a bad premise." I disagree. Why should we CARE about people who work in an office in Scranton, PA? Why should we CARE about fictitious people stranded on a fictitious desert island? Why should we CARE about doctors in love in a hospital? I mean, really? Is that the argument we're going to use? Why should we CARE about a group of friends who live in apartments? Why should we CARE about bizarre friends who live in New York City and talk about nothing? It doesn't matter why. Good shows are good shows, yuppies or not.

I'll concede that last week's episode was a little in-your-face with its point. (We GET it. The Hollywood Ten. We know. The history of the network. Great. Afghanistan. Okay. Moving on.) But as far as writing, pacing, and story arc, you can't deny it was a lovely work of craftsmanship. Plus, come on - these kinds of topics are smart. (Although, as I'll get to in the next paragraph, that's clearly the problem.) And if you're watching this show and not chuckling at or at least appreciating the dialogue, you're not paying close enough attention. Or you don't get the references. (In which case, your friendship with me is on the rocks.)

And here we are at the problem.

The rumors and articles say NBC is planning to replace Studio 60, as well as most of its shows in the 8-9 timeslot, with game shows and reality TV. Shoot me now. Seriously. We're canning smart, funny dialogue and complex characters for mindless game shows and people eating bugs?? Really?! I don't understand why people watch "Deal or No Deal," except possibly to witness Howie Mandel's obsessive-compulsive behavior first-hand. Besides that, it's a game that doesn't even require any skill! (At least on American Idol they have to sing something and on Millionaire they have to answer questions.) I've never understood it, and it's breaking my heart that those kinds of shows are getting the ratings at the expense of quality TV.

Speaking of quality TV - as I learned in Bob Thompson's quality TV class, the highest quality shows always take a long time to gain a fan base. "Long time," as in, years. Some of the best shows in television's history never would have made it past a season if the producers and network executives were trigger-happy and hadn't given them a chance despite dwindling ratings. (Steven Bochco, where are you?! Please go talk to someone at NBC.) But today quality doesn't matter. Game shows and bug eaters (much to my chagrin and utter disgust) are getting the ratings -- and thus are getting the highest ad revenue. Which is what it ultimately comes down to.

All I know is, the people participating in the Nielsen ratings are a bunch of idiots. And extremely infuriating.

The fact that Studio 60 (a show about bringing a network back from the depths of crappiness) is getting cancelled just says it all. Especially with SNL in its abysmal state. (I'm not getting the humor on there at all anymore. Seriously, I haven't laughed once. Oh Will Ferrell, where art thou?) Maybe Aaron Sorkin should take over NBC instead of writing a TV show about it.

In an episode a few weeks ago, Jordan (the producer on Studio 60, played by Amanda Peet) chose to buy quality programming over a crappy reality tv show. Sorry, Sorkin - wishful thinking.

NO DEAL. Ugh.

Brief thoughts

1) Pat Buchanan is hateful and ignorant.
2) Katie Couric should reconsider her line of work, and CBS should reconsider its choice of Evening News anchor. (Unless the network is trying to end the legacy of evening news altogether, which I think is a pretty good idea since I don't know anyone in my generation who actually watches it.)
3) 7th Heaven, which really shouldn't be back on the air at all, is going to drive the new CW into the ground.
4) I'm in love with Jon Stewart and the guy who plays "Jim" on The Office.

The end of an era

I can't help but wax nostalgic tonight as the WB signs off forever. Sure, I know, it's a pathetic network for lovesick teen girls. And yes, I know, most of the programming now lives on the new CW, the WB/UPN conglomerate merger offspring. It's not like all the shows are gone forever. But tonight as the WB aired old pilot episodes of Dawson's Creek, Buffy, Angel and... yes, as you know, my favorite... Felicity in a final-night attempt to pay tribute, I wonder what will happen to the WB part of me I hold so dear.

Somehow this helped the WB's final farewell feel like my final foray into adulthood. Those of us who WERE pathetic tv-addicted teenage girls watching the WB saw Felicity, Joey and Buffy as our peers. They were each a more glamorous, stronger, wiser, incredibly more eloquent version of ourselves. They weren't our role models. They were more like rose-colored mirrors. But the WB's signoff means Buffy, Joey and Felicity are going forever into the annals of TV history with Donna Martin, Jessie Spano and Natalie from the Facts of Life. What makes the WB girls different is their shows aren't just gone -- their entire network is too.

I don't know why this makes me so sad. Believe me, it's not the little frog with the top hat that I'll miss. He was actually kind of obnoxious. And hey, I used to make fun of the WB with the best of 'em. It's not even like I have a huge attachment to shows that are being transferred to CW (except Gilmore Girls and Top Model).

I guess it just feels like the end of an era. Do teen girls these days even have peers on TV like Felicity, Buffy and Joey? Where in the world of television are the lovesick teen girls who are maneuvering through the complications of college, seriously maiming a crapload of vampires or dealing with heavy issues like AIDS and... prom dates... from a front porch in Capeside? (Okay, maybe that last one doesn't sound so meritorious, but you get what I mean.) Today's teens are watching, what, Laguna Beach? The O.C.?

There was something about the girls on the WB that made you feel like you didn't have to take off your clothes or lose all your brains to be a successful, much-adored, well-adjusted teenage girl.

And again, there's something about the WB girls that's part of me now. It sounds really pathetic, I know, I know. But it feels like now that my girls are gone forever, my girlhood is too. And to that, most people would say, "Helloooooo Lisa. Welcome to reality." Well hello reality. The WB is gone. Let's just hope that the spirits of Felicity, Joey and Buffy - yes, as whiny as they were and as much as some of you hated them - don't die forever along with the network that reared them. Cuz I'll tell ya one thing - some of those teenage girls today could stand to take a few lessons from the WB girls I knew and loved.