Waaaa

For the record, I'm getting pretty crabby about this writer's strike. I miss my tv shows.

Writers' Strike

Interesting thoughts about the writers strike, with some nice number comparisons to put things in perspective. Friedman rubs me the wrong way usually, but this is worth a read. From Media Post:

Writers And Networks: Internet Dollars With Less Sense

Speaking of the strike, Carson Daly was the first strikebreaker last night. Supposedly he didn't want his staff fired, which was set to happen today, but as the astute (and incredibly annoying and unprofessional) newscaster pointed out this morning, he probably didn't want his SHOW to get canceled. Since it's a waste of space. Didn't watch it last night, but I have little respect for his writers, so I'm sure it wasn't much different than usual. Terrible, terrible show.

Conan O'Brien: marry me.

Another man I'm in love with, even more than I was before. Move over Stewart and Colbert. Out of the way, Joss Whedon and Aaron Sorkin. Conan O'Brien is my man.

NBC was going to lay off Conan's production staff of 80 today because of the writers' strike, so instead Conan's going to pay all of their salaries.

Read the article here: "Conan O'Brien grows a strike beard"

Also, check this site out: Late Night Underground

New hits?

Article from Media Post's TV blog: "In This Strike-Minded Season, Hope For A Hit"

I'm excited to hear that "Quarterlife" got picked up for TV, mostly because "thirtysomething" creators Zwick and Herskovitz are amazing. Plus, I thought it was pretty cool that they were creating an online series in the first place. (Read about "Quarterlife" here.) And now it's picked up for TV. You've gotta give it to these guys for always tapping into the zeitgeist.

So after reading the Media Post blog, what do you think, readers? What else besides "Celebrity Apprentice" (yikes) should the execs start thinking about? They already did Lord of the Flies this season (thanks, Kid Nation). What's next? Any good ideas?

Nielsen THIS

So here are the top 10 viewed shows last week according to the Nielsen ratings:

1) Without a Trace
2) CSI
3) Dancing with the Stars
4) Grey's Anatomy
5) Dancing with the Stars (results show)
6) Desperate Housewives
7) NCIS
8) NFL: Colts v Chargers
9) House
10) CMA Awards

Seriously?!

When I saw this list this morning, I asked my friend Katie, "WHO are the Nielsen viewers?! People 55 and over? What the hell?!"

Katie's response: "Actually... my 80-year-old grandparents are Nielsen viewers." No joke.

When I heard that, I a) convinced Katie to hijack her grandparents' television and start watching my shows on it, and b) started complaining to Katie about why I hate Nielsen ratings. I learned in doing this that Katie, like a lot of people, had no idea that Nielsen ratings are how advertising prices get set and therefore determine which shows get the boot.

(Read my previous beefs with Nielsen ratings here and here. Or just have a conversation with me at all, and it will probably come up at some point. I have very strong feelings about Nielsen ratings.)

So basically, in case you're not grasping this, Katie's grandparents are deciding which shows stay on the air. Great. Programming schedules full of CSI, Without a Trace, and Diagnosis Murder.

In case you don't know anything about Nielsen ratings, here's a place to start: "How do television ratings work?"

C is for...

Sara from my office made chocolate chip cookies today! Then Jay sent around this video. Thought you might appreciate the flashback:

Kring's my hero

Tim Kring (creator of Heroes) released an apology to the fans recently. Read about it here: "Heroes Creator Apologizes to Fans." You'll note that what he says was wrong with the show are the exact things I've been pointing out since the season started. OBViously he read my blog.

In all seriousness though, you've got to give the guy credit for recognizing that something needed to be fixed. My main man Aaron Sorkin's pride never would have let him do that. (see: Studio 60)

The last two episodes of Heroes have been much improved -- finally some excitement. (And a little lightning never hurt anyone. Yeah, Kristen Bell!) Kring never should have waited until this far into the season to get things moving. No reason this stuff couldn't have happened weeks ago.

Regardless, Heroes is back in the game, and by ending the season in a couple weeks and starting over again, Kring's giving himself an almost-clean slate to redeem himself. Thanks, Tim Kring, for being so super. ;)

Zero episodes of The Office left...

"When is your favorite TV show gone?" -- Entertainment Weekly tallies how many episodes your fave shows have left.

Please, Hollywood. Just man up and give the writers a cut of the online ad revenue already. I can't take this much longer.

One more reason I want to marry Jon Stewart...

As a follow up to my previous post...

There are rumors going around that Jon Stewart is planning to cover the salaries of his writers (and the rest of his employees) for the next two weeks during the writers' strike. This includes the staffs of both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

Jon Stewart, I love you. (I've told you this before.)

It's not confirmed by the Stewart camp, but I have reason to believe it's true, especially based on Thursday's episode of The Daily Show.

(Thanks to Dave Press for the info.)

Strike out

It was only a matter of time, thanks to technology...
"TV, movie writers go on strike"
Stewart, Colbert and Conan... I'll miss you! (Please end strike soon.)

Who killed Laura Palmer?

If you've never experienced Twin Peaks, now is the time.

David Lynch's masterpiece was a cult favorite back in the '90s. Watch it today, and it doesn't lose any of its luster. It's completely bizarre, but it's artful and unique. (If you know anything about David Lynch, I'm sure you're not surprised.) "Who killed Laura Palmer" was the pop culture mantra of the day - not unlike last season's "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World" catchphrase fave.

Twin Peaks was some quality TV. It's finally out on DVD, so give it a shot... If only so you can be in on the phenomenon of days of yore.

If you already love Twin Peaks, visit this site to get cool wallpaper, downloads, widgets, and other Twin Peaks stuff. Agent Cooper is now on my desktop. I couldn't be happier.

No "Origins"

Well, it was a cool idea. But this is for the best. Maybe Tim Kring can fix Heroes now that he's not distracted by a spinoff. Here's hoping.

"'Heroes' spin-off not happening."

Phenomenon indeed

Well, I thought the new show Phenomenon was useless... until I saw this.

These tapings are live, and apparently Criss Angel exposed psychic Jim Callahan as a fraud. ("A fraud?!" I know, you're shocked.) You can read (and watch) for yourself, but basically Angel told Callahan he'd give him a million dollars of his own money if Callahan could tell him what was in an envelope.

Good stuff. All of those people are a mess. Who knew such a crappy show would end up being so entertaining?

V-Mars: The Season that Never Was

Check out the mini-pilot for Veronica Mars season 4: 4 years later. It's broken into 2 parts, about 6 mins each, which you'll find below. This was what Rob Thomas and company put together to try to get V-Mars picked up for a fourth season. To no avail, unfortunately. But this is what might have been. (Oh Kristen Bell, you're wonderful. Please, Tim Kring, give her more face time on Heroes!)

Happy Halloween!!

OK TV fans, what are your favorite Halloween TV specials? Here are mine. Got faves you don't see here? Leave them in the comments!

- It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Peanuts classic. Not as good for me as the Thanksgiving one, but still good.)

- Garfield's Halloween Adventure (I watched this all year round when I was little. My favorite Garfield special ever.)

- Simpsons Treehouse of Horror (Simpsons. Halloween. Need I say more?)

And a little TREAT for you:

Aliens in America

Okay, I'll admit, I was reluctant to watch this show. Why, you ask? Because it's a sitcom on the CW. Which conjures images of Girlfriends and Kevin Hill. Need I say more?

But seriously, watch Aliens in America. It's so good! Sitcom that's funny, heartwarming and has no laugh track. It's going on the list of shows I watch every week. I recommend you give it a spin too.

Fall assessment

Well it's that time of the season. Time to reflect on the new TV shows. Here's the roundup:

Shows I've Ditched:
- The Big Bang Theory (that only took one horrible ep)
- Journeyman (bo-ring)
- Prison Break (sorry boys... I stuck with you as long as I could. Even Wentworth Miller's hot bod couldn't keep me another season)
- Bionic Woman (too much exposition... and time slot competition)
- Big Shots (couldn't even sit through a full ep)
- Dirty Sexy Money (sorry, Peter Krause. I tried.)

Shows I Have to Watch In Real Time Because I Can't Wait:
- The Office (yeah I'm obsessed)
- How I Met Your Mother (I love you guys)
- 30 Rock (Tina Fey is my hero)
- Scrubs (last season ever. Sad!)

Guilty Pleasures:
- Gossip Girl (Yeah I can't help myself. This is good TV.)
- Men in Trees (Please please please Nielsen viewers, start watching this show. It makes me inexplicably happy.)
- I Love NY (I can't resist this trainwreck. It's hilarious.)
- Private Practice (This show has really grown on me. I find myself excited to see what happens each week. I can't really explain it. Hey Tim Kring, note well how Shonda managed to create a second show without ruining either one...)

Biggest Disappointment:
- Chuck (I hate to say it, but I think Chuck is getting cut from my roster. It's been downhill since the pilot. Sorry, Chuck. You're adorable. But I can't do it anymore. It's not you, it's me. Actually, nope, it's you.)

Biggest Surprise:
- Pushing Daisies (I'm becoming obsessed with this one. It makes me feel like a little kid when I'm watching it, what with the narration and the bright colors and whatnot. And the storyline's so tight. Thank you, writers, for not ruining this for me. Hey, writers of Chuck, you paying attention?)

Other Shows I Love:
- Grey's Anatomy (You never let me down, Grey's. I'm still excited to watch every week. Thanks, Shonda.)
- Bones (Consistency is key. Always great romance, always cute script, always one of my favs.)
- House (Love it. How could I not?)
- ANTM (High drama. Editing genius. Tyra Banks. Need I say more?)
- Beauty and the Geek (I can't get enough of this show. It's like crack to me.)
- Curb Your Enthusiasm (Thanks for making another season, Larry. It still cracks me up, even after all these years.)

Shows Currently In Trouble With Lisa:
- Heroes (What happened??? This past week's wasn't any better! Actually, it may have been worse. Pull it together. Because right now, I'm not feeling this season at all. And believe me, you DON'T want to be deleted from my DVR. Take that as a warning.)
- Life (Losing a little luster, Life. I was a big fan. You've got two weeks to get it back to the high quality of the first couple eps. Or else.)
- Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters (Ok, ABC shows. Both of you suffer the same curse with me. I never feel like watching you. Sure, once I'm watching I'm entertained. But right now I have three weeks of your shows backed up on my DVR waiting to be watched. This does not bode well for you. Especially DH - I gave you up once before. I'm not afraid to do it again.)

And that's the rundown. What about you, TV watchers? Which shows have you abandoned since the start of the season? Any surprise favs? Leave it in the comments!

Rock it!

Just a few of the endless reasons I love 30 Rock:

Tina Fey.

Tounge-in-cheek humor. (i.e. Jack's impressions of Tracy's family, Liz's "followship" award, references to G.E.)

Guest appearances by Will Arnett (you may remember him as G.O.B. from Arrested Development)

"Page-off." (Need I say more?)

Liz: "It was terrible. I went to her apartment. I don't think she has a toilet! I saw my future, Jack."
Jack: "Never go with a hippie to her second location."

Liz Lemon: "Hi. I don't want to sound like a weirdo fan, but I am... obsessed with anything you've ever done... You are great. I grew up wanting to be you... You are my heroine. And by heroine, I mean lady hero. I don't want to inject you and listen to jazz! Hahahaha!"

Liz: "Have you been drinking WINE all day?"
Rachel: "Oh, it's heart healthy."
Liz: "ALL day?"
Rachel: "Oh come on Liz, it's the '90s!"
Liz: "...no. Did an F train just go by your WINDOW?!"

Heroes woes

I'm trying to avoid yet another post about how much I love Pushing Daisies. So instead, I decided to post about why Heroes is making me nervous.

Although I was a Johnny-Come-Lately, season one of Heroes amazed me. During the week that I holed myself up in my apartment to devour the show for the first time via DVD, I became obsessed, and I finally realized what the big deal was.

But I also know a good hook when I see one. Beyond the strong characterization, acting, script and graphics (yay comic books), the mantra "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World" helped guide this show to its monumental heights of popularity. Who doesn't remember the commercials last year? Whispered mantra. Black screen. Pure promotional magic.

It wasn't just that. Season one also had a well-crafted, novel-style plot line, divulged in appropriate amounts at appropriate times. But you have to admit, without "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World," Heroes may not have become the pop culture phenom it is today.

Season one was well played by Tim Kring, the show's creator/writer/producer. NBC helped as well, with its clever two-hour programming slots and all the promotion, cross-promotion and hype. And you've gotta give Masi Oka a good deal of credit too. He's a hero (or, Hiro), who's hard to resist. He's simply adorable. Not to mention all the other attractive people on the show. (Mmm Sylar. He's my fave. Is that sociopathic of me?)

Okay, so there's all that going for it, and season one ended strong. I wondered how they were going to maneuver season 2. Obviously they have to bring in new heroes, since several died last year. Also, I read enough articles to know they were bringing back some of the best (and hottest) characters, whose fates remained questionable in the controversial season finale. (Sylar, Peter, Nathan, Matt...)

But now that it's here, I seriously question how Kring has designed season 2. First of all, he added yet another pair of non-English-speaking heroes. Which is fine, I'm not trying to be ethnocentric. My problem is that the doubled subtitles means a lot of reading for a show that's already pretty intense and already requires heightened concentration. But that's manageable. On top of that, the plot is winding in questionable directions. And by winding I mean dragging along like a snail. The story's no longer epic... now it feels forced. The mystery is weak (granted, I'm comparing it to "save the cheerleader, save the world" - which can never be matched). And most of all, there's too much focus on the earlier generation of heroes. That might sound ageist, but I can't help it. Their characters are simply not as compelling as the younger ones - if not outright off-putting.

It's okay though. I'm giving it time. Maybe it just needs to develop. Claire's storyline is the saving grace right now - I love the addition of the flying boyfriend and his hatred of Horn-Rimmed-Glasses man. (Flying Boy doesn't know Horn Rim is Claire's dad.) Hopefully we'll start seeing more of Peter - his new storyline is not boring and is wonderfully Irish-brogue-filled, even though it's kind of a classic cop-out. (Amnesia is still lame, even when the victim is a hero.) Sylar's still intriguing, of course. Even when he's not cutting brains open. And most importantly, next week Kristen Bell (she played Veronica Mars) joins the cast, and I hear her character's pretty badass.

So there's a lot that can turn around this season. But EW warned about two things that could ruin Heroes in season 2: not showing enough of our favorite characters, and inflated ego. I hate to say it, but I'm seeing both of these materializing before our eyes. (Kring, why are you dividing your energies by creating "Heroes: Generations"?? We don't need a new show - we need this one to stay as good as it was last season. Pay attention!)

I hope that now that the cheerleader has been saved, Kring can stop trying to save the world and instead save his own show. Come on, Heroes! Once more, with feeling.

Fall shows in trouble - no kidding.

Five new Fall shows in trouble - a Yahoo slide show.

Saw that one coming a mile away. Why, you ask?:

1) Nashville: Huh? Was this show even on the air? Great publicity, Fox. Plus... set in Nashville? No thanks. Not even on a Friday night. (Especially not against Friday Night Lights and Women's Murder Club.) Mosey along, Nashville.

2) Cavemen: UGH Cavemen show, how I loathe thee. Advertising at its worst. Also, a gross display of greed and ego. Excuse me people. Sure, the commercials were funny and it was a clever ad campaign. Making it a TV show?! Get over yourselves.

3) K-Ville: Whether or not you think it's too early for a Katrina-themed crime show, this one had mediocre writing and was up against some time-slot show-stealers. It didn't have long to live.

4) Journeyman: As I've said before, this one's imminent demise is two-fold. First of all, bad programming. It's up against a few things on that front. What, you ask? a) similar demographic show: CSI Miami b) opposite demographic show: Bachelor c) the everything-killer: football and d) it's a poor-man's Heroes, on AFTER Heroes. So... no. Secondly, it's riddled with molasses-speed exposition without giving the viewer much in return. Sorry, Journeyman. I think your journey ends here.

5) Big Shots: I've expressed my problems with this show before. It's a really bad male version of Desperate Housewives that isn't even as good as Desperate Housewives is today (even in its decrepit, uninteresting, old age state). It's basically a bunch of assholes walking around on a golf course and having affairs - without a good script. Good actors, though, which may be its only saving grace. Also, it doesn't have much time slot competition - unless anyone still watches ER?

I'm Pushing Pushing Daisies

Hey TV fans. Sorry - been slacking on my bloggage lately. Just wanted to write a quick post about last week's premiere of Pushing Daisies to help encourage you to watch it this week despite its competitive time slot.

I'm naturally attracted to the show because of its bright colors and intriguing storyline. I'm naturally worried about this show because of its movie-like storyline and the fact that it causes me such angst to see two people who can't touch. Here's hoping the second episode is as good as the first.

Why was the first episode so good, you ask? Great writing, compelling plot. Great characters, great acting. Technicolor. Not too much exposition, but just enough to get you interested. Basically, despite its torturous plot line (guy and girl in love, guy can't touch girl or she'll die... kill me now), there's a lot in this show that will keep me watching. Including the main character's ethically sketchy use of his "gift" (or curse).

I know you'll be busy at that time watching child labor on Kid Nation, Tyra being a hot mess on Top Model, the supporting cast from Everybody Loves Raymond in their Fox sitcoms, the creepy fake banker on Deal or No Deal, or perhaps the reruns of Law and Order that are bound to be on about 20 channels at any time of day. But just for this week, DVR/Ti-Vo the other stuff. Give Pushing Daisies a shot. It's worth an hour of your life.

Pushin' it.

Pushing Daisies starts tonight. 8pm, ABC. Watch it. Love it. Cross your fingers for it. (Seriously, even if you're not thrilled with the premise, at least watch it for its cinematic splendor. In HD, if possible.) ;-)

Catching up to do

Brief thoughts before my shows start tonight. I've been busy over this past week, with various nighttime commitments that have caused me to miss my shows. Thank the DVR gods, I was able to catch up this past weekend. Of course last night I ended up going to see my coworker's cousin's sketch comedy show instead of watching my shows at home. I caught my DVR'd HIMYM at midnight last night, but I couldn't stay awake through anything else, so I'm again behind on Heroes and Chuck. (Also, I need to start watching Aliens in America. I've heard great things.)

As for the shows that I missed last week, here are my thoughts after watching them this weekend. Let my opinions guide you (or fail to guide you) in this week's TV choices as you will.

Tuesday
Bones: Sorry, Brett. I love it. I'm a sucker for a TV show about partners with mad sexual tension. And this season premiere was Bones at its best. Who cares if the scientific explanations are always RIDICULOUSLY bad. The show is always funny, with lots of sexual tension. That's really all I need. [Lisa says: I Recommend. A-]

Beauty and the Geek: Still love it. [Lisa says: I Recommend. A-]

House: There's something so comforting about the formula of House. It's highly parody-able (that's not a word), which makes it that much more enjoyable. At the same time, the acting is fantabulous, and the show is downright hilarious. (Also, is it me or did you see Kal Penn in the preview for this week? Yes!) [Lisa says: I Recommend. A]

Boston Legal: Although I don't think it deserved to win an Emmy over The Sopranos, I do enjoy this show. Why? Because it's CLASSIC David E. Kelley. And any TV scholar (yes, I just called myself that... if you think that's an oxy moron, I think you're an actual moron - and quite judgmental - and you can shove it) can appreciate David Kelley's impact on the industry. LA Law is his biggest claim to fame as far as the history of tv goes. But I was a fan of Picket Fences and The Practice when I was younger, I was a fan of Ally McBeal after that (WHEN are you releasing the DVDs, David? Get OVER yourself), and who can deny the rest of his TV resume: Doogie Howser (NPH!!!!), Chicago Hope, Boston Public. Anyway, Boston Legal isn't a show I get really excited about watching every week, but once it's on I'm glad I did. [Lisa says: I recommend. B+]

Wednesday
Back to You: I knew the mediocre pilot was deceiving. I thought last Wednesday's episode of BTY was pretty redeeming. Funny, classic sitcom with awesome star power. If you're into comedies with alternative humor like I am (The Office, Arrested Development, Scrubs, HIMYM, you get the idea), don't expect anything like that - lest you be sorely disappointed. But if you're up for some classic newsroom sitcom antics, you'll be pleased. [Lisa says: It depends. B]

'Til Death: Brett hates it, I like it. (I only mention this because I respect Brett's TV opinions, and if he hates something, it's worth noting before you decide whether to watch.) It's pretty sarcastic, which is why I like it. Not that interesting as far as story lines. But it makes me laugh. [Lisa says: It depends. B]

ANTM: Tyra's a mess and I love it. [Lisa says: I recommend. A-]

Private Practice: It's no Grey's Anatomy (sorry Brett, I know you hate Grey's). A lot about this show depends on whether you liked or hated Addison on Grey's. Also, just a disclaimer: this show is NOT appropriate for children. Or men. Unless you're a man who's entirely comfortable with multiple storylines about childbirth, insemination, abortion, pap smears, and lots and lots of va-jay-jays. I liked it (it helps that I love so many of the actors in it), but I can't see any of my male friends who watch Grey's actually opening up to watch Private Practice. [Lisa says: Only recommended for women. B]

Bionic Woman: I thought I'd hate it. Ended up really liking it. Lots of girl power in this show, but also lots of espionage, cool technology, interesting characters and mega butt-kicking. Hopefully once they get past the exposition it will get more interesting. I love a good conspiracy story. [Lisa says: I recommend. For now. B+]

Gossip Girl: Yeah, I still can't resist this show. I think it depends how you're watching it. No highly intellectual stuff here. And the whiny-ness of the privileged white kids can get irritating. But the characters are interesting, both the girls and guys are absolutely gorgeous, and it's mindless smut with haves/have-nots moral overtones. Like it or leave it as you will. [Lisa says: It depends. B+]

Dirty Sexy Money: I love Peter Krause. Also, mega corruption here. However, I feel it becoming one of those shows I forget to watch, and I don't think the pilot lived up to its spectacular banner ads. But it was intriguing enough for me to keep watching. If only because I love Peter Krause. [Lisa says: It depends. B-]

Life: LOVED IT. I saw the preview for this quite some time ago, thanks to Brett. I doubted this show's stickiness, although I thought it looked great. Well I've gotta tell ya, it exceeded my expectations. I'm hoping it doesn't fizzle under the weight of its similar-demographic time-slot competitors, CSI: Miami (shoot me in the face) and Dirty Sexy Money. If you're gonna watch one show in this time slot, let it be Life. (I'm looking at you, Nielsen viewers.) [Lisa says: I recommend. A+]

Thursday
The Office: UGH I LOVE THIS SHOW. Seriously, this was one of the best eps yet. Lots of Jim and Pam (JAM) goodness, and so many laughs that my stomach hurt. Seriously, I can't get enough of The Office. I'm in love with it, let's just leave it at that. [Lisa says: Recommend isn't a strong enough word for what I feel about this show. A++]

Grey's Anatomy: Strong start for everyone's favorite soap. (Except Brett. Sorry Brett.) I'm glad Shonda hasn't lost her touch. Lots of new plot elements and characters this year, but our old favs are back to their old tricks. Still love it. Seriously. [Lisa says: I recommend. A]

Big Shots: Only lasted through half of it. It's terrible. Not much interesting going on. Love Josh Malina, but even he can't get me to watch this show. For a series trying to be Desperate Housewives For Men, it sure has a long way to go. You can only watch a bunch of assholes walking around on a golf course for so long. Especially without a good script. [Lisa says: Steer clear. D]

Sunday (Yeah, that's this week's TV, but I watched it, so here it is):
Desperate Housewives: Getting old. Can't believe it's signed for so many more years. Hoping the storyline gets a little more interesting than last season. There was some good stuff in the episode, but also some stuff that was a bore. Come on Housewives, you can do it! [Lisa says: Eh. C-]

Brothers and Sisters: Strong start to the season. In case you don't know, it's a sappy soap drama with liberal leanings and a strong political theme. But great acting, compelling storylines... and did I mention great acting? I'm a fan. [Lisa says: I recommend. As long as you're not socially conservative - if you are, you'll hate it. If you're not, watch away! B+]

That's the rundown. Sorry to give it all at once! I'll do better at keeping up with this from now on. :-) Peace out, TV homies.

Monday night gut reaction

Quick (very quick) review of the season premieres before bed:

HIMYM: A
Big Bang Theory: D
Chuck: A+
Heroes: B+
Journeyman: C

Yeah that doesn't really tell you very much. Let's just say...
- Chuck and HIMYM were amazing, as expected
- Heroes was good and will undoubtedly get better as it gains momentum (Here's an idea... let's start by shaving Nathan's beard. Good lord.)
- Big Bang Theory not surprisingly blew (it's by the creators of Two and a Half Men, so...)
- Journeyman was disappointing... not necessarily a bad show, but probably a bad programming move on NBC's part.

And that's my brief, snap-judgment rundown. Tomorrow is another night of season premieres. And my life has order again.

Premiering tomorrow (Monday)!!

TV roundup

Hey TV fans. Just a quick recap of stuff I watched this week, stuff I read about today, and one special show I've just fallen in love with.

Notable stuff I watched:
- Gossip Girl. I'll preface this by saying that I feel some sort of six-degrees-of-separation type of thing with this show. First of all, they've been filming this all down 27th street in NYC, and they've done a week or so right by where I work. (Their wardrobe trailers were outside my building... and I accidentally walked through their breakfast tent one day and saw some of the beautiful gentlemen cast members. Hell yeah. One of them even glared at me! Be still my heart.) Secondly, my coworker's friend wrote the books the series is based on. Anyway, I've gotta say, this show was pretty smutty. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. A good way to sum it up is that while I never watched The O.C., I'm not surprised that it's by the same creators. But Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) is the narrator, and I love her. And I think it really captures the culture of the teenage set these days - with the sidekicks and the texting and the blogs and whatnot. It's interesting to me from a cultural perspective, and I always love a little drama. It's classic CW/WB, so I'll be tuning in again.

- Back to You. It's hard to judge sitcoms by their pilots. I was a little disappointed by this show's premiere. I'd flag it as mediocre so far. But hey, I'm not giving up on it just yet. Who doesn't love Kelsey Grammar?! Plus, it reminds me of Murphy Brown, News Radio and Mary Tyler Moore. So I'll hang in there.


Notable stuff I read:
- Tony Almeda is returning to 24 this season! Maybe the plot lines, character development, and, oh, say, anything interesting at all, will return too. We can only hope.

- Insight on Pushing Daisies from Slate.com: "...anyone who's seen the Pushing Daisies pilot has to wonder: How long can the studio keep up that expensive look? The same question applies to the premise—guy touches dead people, they come back to life; he touches them again, and they die permanently. The girl of his dreams dies. So, guy loses girl, guy touches girl, guy can never touch girl again." We'll have to see how that plays out. I've thought from the beginning that this might be one of those shows that would make out better as a movie. But here's hoping.

- NBC's co-chairman Ben Silverman threw a pre-Emmy party that included girls in underwear and a tiger in a cage. Formal attire only. Assumedly that applies to everyone but the g-string-clad women. And the tiger. So... there's that.

- "How to Sound Like an American." This Slate video article investigates how all these British actors drop their accents to sound so utterly American. (House is the best example. Damn, he's good.)

My new love:

HEROES. Seriously, I missed out last season by not watching this. Now I understand what all the hype was about. It's so much better than I expected!!! It's everything I always wished Lost and 24 could be. And for someone like me, who loves reading novels, the fact that this plays out like a novel is fantastic. The writing is phenomenal, the characters are so complex, and the plot is revealed just enough at a time. And like my sister said, the story arc was planned from the beginning, so nothing that happens is an accident. Plus, I love superhero stories. So this is like my dream show. I am wondering, though, how this got scheduled in a 9pm time slot. It's pretty graphic, racy, dark, and scary. (Especially if you watch it with all the lights off and only candles lit, like I've been doing. Very "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark"-ish.) Anyway, seriously, watch this show. I always knew I'd like it, but I never knew I'd love it to the point of addiction, which is how I feel now. Season 2 starts Monday, but you should DVR it, Netflix the season 1 DVDs right now, and have a marathon over the weekend, like I'm doing, so that you can start watching season 2. (You definitely have to start with season 1.) I'm holding out hope that it won't lose momentum in season 2. This show is extremely powerful. And you know what they say... with great power comes great responsibility. Crossing my fingers that that means season 2 plays out just as fantastically as season 1!

Beauty and the Geek is back!

I have mixed feelings about this season of Beauty and the Geek, with the various changes to its format. But I'm crossing my fingers!

So in case you didn't watch last season, I'll refer you to my posts about it. I was very unhappy with how most of the season went, because I felt like the point of the show was being lost (see my post here) - but the producers redeemed themselves in the end (see my post here).

This season, though, they started things off right. (Yay Ashton Kutcher!) First of all, they've added in a lot more explanation by the host about the point of the show. They've also added in IQ tests for the beauties and social IQ tests for the geeks at the beginning of the show, which are designed to determine the starting point for each contestant - putting the focus back on personal growth for each individual.

After the tests (and a night with everyone sleeping outside), the lowest-scoring beauty and the lowest-scoring geek were announced. Those two were then charged with interviewing each contestant and then choosing all nine pairings. This is different than the format in previous years, where the partners were chosen at first meeting, solely on face value, usually with the more obnoxious and assertive people getting to make first selection. I always thought that process was bogus, so tonight I was pleased with the change. This exercise made people think a lot harder about who they wanted to be paired with and why, and it helped them get to know each other instead of judging a book by its cover. It also worked out better that the lowest-scoring contestants got to pick each team - they really put a lot of thought in to the decision, and although some of it was strategy, it was more about who they thought could learn the most from each other. All of this aligned much better with the point of the show, which made me very happy.

The part I'm uneasy about is the surprise twist at the end. The host announced that they'd be adding a 10th team to the mix - a "geek" who's a girl, and a "beauty" who's a guy. Don't get me wrong, I saw this reversed format coming from a mile away. But I worry about implementing only ONE team like this, instead of having a whole separate version of the show with all teams' genders reversed. Although, like the host said, this show has always been about the social experiment. And this is a social experiment indeed. So, we'll see how it goes. Maybe it will end up teaching everyone a lot -- that's it's not what they can learn from female beauties or male geeks, but it's what they can learn from other people who aren't like them, regardless of gender. I'm worried that it will create more stereotypes, but hopefully it will go one step further in breaking them down.

Emmy Emmy Emmy

As promised, loyal readers, a brief post of Emmy goodness. God I love the Emmys. (Despite my bitching every five minutes about how nobody cares about all the bullshit in between the good awards.) I really do though -- the Emmys are like my Superbowl.

Ok, so here are my thoughts...

1) YAY for 30 Rock!! I'm so proud of my little show. As Tina Fey so graciously said in her speech "and thanks to our dozens of viewers!" Ugh I LOVE Tina Fey. My only worry with this win is that it's like when Arrested Development kicked major Emmy ass - appreciation by critics and Emmy voters, but not by those damn Nielsen viewers. (I ask again, HOW do I get to be a Nielsen viewer? How?)

2) Did we really have to start the night with Family Guy (ugh I can't stand it... sorry to those who love it... I just really hate it) - AND an Isaiah Washington joke?! And then a cut to T.R. Knight?! Could that be any more awkward and inappropriate??

3) BOO to Fox's censorship. Give us a break, Fox. Also, BOO to the classlessness of the local Fox reporter in charge of the post-Emmy coverage on the red carpet, which I'm watching right now... she's currently SCREAMING at these celebrities who are trying to get the hell out of there. Wow she's so annoying and tacky. "I JUST GOT BLOWN OFF BY TOM SELLECK! HOW HOT IT THAT?!" "HEIDI! HEIDI! HEIDI! HEIDI! She's on cable and she won't even stop and talk to us." sigh... she's also Heidi Klum the model, you local-news jackass. Ugh.

4) Boo for NPH not winning for How I Met Your Mother. There's always next year, Barney. It's going to be legen- wait for it -dary. High five.

5) Yay for Locke from Lost winning. He rocks. And so did his outfit (only Locke can pull off a black sequined tie and a Desperate Housewives joke in one fell swoop).

6) No shock that The Sopranos won... I'm kind of glad they're out of the picture now though, so that other dramas can start winning awards. The shock of the night was probably James Spader winning over Gandalfini for best actor. I'm a huge Spader fan (Sex Lies and Videotape, anyone?), but that was kind of crazy...

7) BIG BOO to no wins for The Office. (Well, except for winning an episode award for Gay Witch Hunt.) I'm sorry, but Pam totally should have won Supporting Actress. I don't get My Name is Earl. At all. Damn. Although, maybe this will teach the writers a lesson - you mess with Jim and Pam, you mess with your Emmys. Crossing my fingers for Season 4.

8) Maybe I should start watching Amazing Race... that shit is the Helen Mirren of reality tv...

9) What's with Ugly Betty winning all that stuff? I've only seen one episode, but... is it really Emmy material? Maybe I should watch it again. Speaking of shows I haven't seen, this week is Heroes week for me - so that I can catch up in time to watch the new season. That reminds me, I've gotta watch Weeds, too... I love Mary-Louise Parker.

10) Seacrest... out. No, seriously, get out, Seacrest. Everyone in the audience blatantly thinks you're a joke. Poor guy. He was out of his league.


Okay, now, last but not least, the best moments of the night:

SECOND-RUNNER-UP: Sally Field's speech. Sally, you're a MESS. Pull it TOGETHER, woman! At the beginning of your speech, I was like, "Wow, she's almost like the white version of Phylicia Rashad, what with the political nature of her speech and..." -- and then, Sally, you went INSANE on the stage. I take it back... you're kind of just a mess. It's okay, Norma Rae, I like you anyway.

RUNNER-UP: Elaine Stritch and Stanley Tucci's presentation. Elaine kicked it off with a yawn. Hahaha. And then WHAT was she even saying?! Haha that was SO great. She's a mess, and I love it. She STILL kicked ass. As always. (Sally Field, take note - Elaine Stritch can pull off crazy. Pay close attention.)

HANDS-DOWN WINNER: The Daily Show reunion -- My boys Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert ended their hilarious presentation with the announcement that Ricky Gervais won for best actor. And then, because Gervais wasn't there, they said they were gonna give it to their friend Steve Carell instead. But the best part was when Steve Carell actually CAME UP ON STAGE and they all hugged and jumped around. Ugh, you are my three favorite men, and you're all hilarious. Thank you, boys, you made my night.

Rock Your Soul

Sorry to double up posts, but this one applies to both of my blogs. Just a couple of my favs from SYTYCD... they're very short. And amazing. The first is Shane Ryan's hip-hop. The second is Mia Michaels' contemporary (and SMOKING HOT... seriously it's like really really sexy...). It's done to a song by Elisa. Also, if you like Elisa (she's amazing), you can also listen to my favorite Elisa song below the videos. It's called "Rock Your Soul."


("Tambourine" by Eve)


("Dancing" by Elisa)

Rainn Wilson

I know, I know. I've neglected this blog. But here's my return to the world of TV. It's Rainn Wilson's monologue on SNL. (Rainn plays Dwight on The Office, which you all know is my fav.) For any watcher of The Office, this is a must-see. Enjoy.

CW comeback?

Every year, the E! network campaigns for one show facing impending cancellation doom. Fans can vote on E!'s website for which show they want saved, and the winner gets E!'s backing. It's worked 5 out of the 6 years E! has tried, so the odds are pretty good that the fan fav will be saved. Okay, I'll admit it. I voted. From each of the computers in the computer lab. My problem was too many of my favorite shows on the chopping block. Do I vote for Studio 60, which I've been championing from the start but has little to no chance of being saved? Do I vote for Scrubs or 30 Rock, neither of which I can imagine NBC actually dropping (hello NBC, try programming these gems at a time that's NOT against Grey's Anatomy)? Do I vote for What About Brian, a girly guilty pleasure of mine? Or The Class on NBC, which started out kind of crappy but soon became one of my favorite sitcoms? Or do I push for my old favs on the CW - Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls - which I can't imagine my life without? Well I voted for all of them. Probably not the smartest idea.

Regardless, the results were announced this week (read the article here: http://www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/), and my CW picks won! Due to incredibly close results, E! is campaigning to save both Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls!

Veronica Mars has always had this off-the-radar underground following clearly not represented in the Nielsen numbers. This is the second time to my knowledge that there's been a surprising swelling of support for the show. So if E!'s campaign works, please try watching it. It may have started out as an implausible show about a blonde high school wunderkid who solves mysteries for her dad's detective agency (I know, I know), but it has turned into a smart, sexy show with a little mystery, a little drama, a lot of quick, sarcastic humor and some really appealing characters. The main problem is that it's on against House. But if you don't have DVR, get it. Then set it. I saw one episode out of context first season and I didn't like it, but when I went back again and watched the third season straight through, I regretted not having watched it before. Really, if you tried it and didn't like it, it's worth a second chance. If you haven't seen it before, and E!'s campaign works, get on board. Especially if you're a Nielsen viewer. ;-)

As far as Gilmore Girls goes, I'm kind of surprised that it won. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Gilmore Girls. But since the Palladino writing team left, the show has become a shadow of itself. The writers are doing well with the impossible task they've been given, but the plot has gone for a crazy ride this season, and I'm not sure it has stayed true to the characters. But hey, I'm definitely up for giving the new writers another shot! Let's see if E! can successfully negotiate Alexis Bledel's salary, since I've heard that's why the next season's up in the air. I have a feeling little Rory's become more of a tiger than everyone realizes.

Anyway, good job to those who voted. I have a feeling I'll have to kiss Studio 60 goodbye forever... and maybe The Class as well. But at least I can keep up my CW watching if E!'s plan works. How do you feel about the results? Did your favs get saved?

Davis the Disser

I'm not sure how many of you are still watching Real World. I'm a bit of a late joiner -- this is the first season I've watched. I can't get enough of it, and I'm hoping MTV starts playing Real World marathons so I can see the older seasons. This week on Real World Denver, though, Davis verbally bitch-slapped all the girls in the house with his comments on their looks. I was kind of taken aback... we've seen Davis get pretty cruel in past episodes (thus insane Brooke throwing water all over him a few weeks ago), but this week he took catty to a new level.

First you have to know that there's been weirdness going on between Davis and Brooke. Davis is the token gay character, and he sleeps with Brooke. Figure that one out. Supposedly it's just sleeping, but homeboy fights with Brooke like they're dating, and Brooke has been getting confused. Shocker.

This week, Davis was out with Jen, and he inexplicably offered up criticism of how the three girls in the house look. He said that in his high school, Colie would not be considered pretty and that he thinks she's actually kind of a dog, despite her nice rack. He said that he doesn't think Brooke is pretty, honestly, and that when she looks down she has a double-chin, so she should always look up. (Really, Davis? Really?!) Then when pressed, he told Jen that she has nice skin and nice breasts but that she could stand to lose some weight. Ouch. I'm sure you're shocked that Jen went home and told the girls what Davis said (although she wouldn't reveal specifics except about the double chin).

If you've watched any episodes of Real World Denver, you know that Brooke doesn't take this kind of thing lightly. And by that, I mean she usually has some kind of intense psychotic episode of epic proportions. This week was no exception. After attempting to confront Davis at a bar (all business transactions on Real World take place in a bar), Brooke stormed home, locked herself in the bathroom, and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Then she ran into Davis' room and trashed it, breaking lamps and throwing bed dressings on the floor. Then she left some creative notes on his bed telling him to rot in hell. Classic.

You just have to admit, this is great TV. Brooke's breakdowns are irresistable, and Davis' insincere apologies just ASK for more drama. In fact, the preview for next week shows Davis spilling his guts about the Alex/Jen/Colie love triangle that everyone forgot about in the midst of Brooke's outright insanity, Tyrie's angry black man antics and Steven's reticence about being an Outward Bound slacker. Tune in at 10pm on Wednesday to see the inevitably fantastic tears-filled results.

Thank God You're Here!

Here are my TV favs of the past week!!:

Thank God You're Here: If you used your DVR or TiVo to zip through commercials with celebs in funny costumes (Jason Alexander, Angela from The Office, Kevin Nealon, Mo'Nique), you should have payed more attention. They were commercials for NBC's new comedy improv hour that tests the mettle of some of your favorite funny celebs. I'm not sure when this show's usually on, but Monday night we were treated to two one-hour episodes. I've gotta tell ya, this show ended up being way funnier than I thought it would be. If you like Whose Line is it Anyway or you're in to improv at all, you've got to watch it. If you've always wondered whether comedian celebs are funny without clever script writers whispering in their ears, you've got to watch it. If none of these apply to you, but you have a pulse, you should watch it anyway. The premise of the show is that celebrities who think they're funny or good at improv are dressed up in costumes they've never seen before, and led to sets they've never been on, to play characters revealed to them once they get on the set. Some examples: a game show host, a mountain climbing expedition leader, an excavating professor, a doctor hawking his innovative (read: sketchy) product on a talk show. The other "characters" in the scene are in on the joke and great at improv, directing the scenes by prompting (or trapping) the stars into thinking on their feet. For instance, a character said to the star who stepped on to a game show set: "Remind the audience how this game is played!" I'll admit that I'm a little wary, since the show isn't live and is thoroughly edited. But if you can get past that, it's really worth a watch. (And if you watch ANY reality TV at ALL, you should be able to get past it. I mean, hello people, not only is reality TV scripted and brilliantly edited, but scenes are filmed multiple times to get different camera angles!) So basically, get past it and tune in -- I laughed for two hours straight.

Lost: Girl-on-girl catfight in the jungle. Guys, I bet you loved it. I'm a straight female, and I even loved it. Good stuff.

ANTM: Just a few comments... Thank you Tyra for admitting you guys totally screwed up Brittany's hair, and thanks for offering to fix it. Cuz I really can't stand watching that ratty mess for another week. 50 Cent pushed Jael into the pool. Can you blame him? Sarah the Pose-y Photographer got sent home. Good. Natasha's still a crazy mess. Even better. Whitney called the other models "skinny bitches." Amen. Nicole Richie stirred up trouble. I'm shocked. (Ok, I'm actually laughing my ass off.) Renee got hers. Finally. And last but not least... Wholahay? I love this show.

The Office: I think this about sums it up: STAB ME IN THE HEART. I can't take any more of this Pam/Jim torture. That scene at the soda machine felt like water torture to me. But things are looking up -- Pam and Roy are officially over. Did the scene in the diner feel like foreshadowing to anyone else? I'm well aware that Pam and Jim will never really get together (see: X-Files' sexual tension success vs. Moonlighting's sexual fulfillment disaster... these writers aren't stupid), but Roy's encouragement of the JAM pairing makes me hope Pam takes some action. Karen was especially horrible this week. Might I remind you of the moment in the break room when she snipped at Jim to get back to selling paper so he could take her on a trip? Yikes. Michael Scott is still hilarious, and his inexplicable and unfounded hatred of Toby is one of my favorite parts of The Office. Thursday's Dwight-As-Superhero storyline, besides being a shameless plug for NBC's Heroes, was absolutely hilarious and completely consistent with the characters. That's what I love most about The Office. Well done, writers. Every single week.

Grey's: Just kidding. No new episode, yet again. Come on, Grey's! I'm sick of repeats. You think having Meredith die and George and Izzy get it on during Sweeps exempted you from new storylines?! Seriously?!

American Idol: I'm watching it as I write this, so I'll just give a few gut reactions. Jenny from the Block was the guest judge, and unlike most of the other guests, she actually gave the contestants vocal coaching to make their songs better (or at least more Latin-ish). Yay for that. But if this was Latin week, where were the hot Latin men, I ask you?! Anyway, on to the performers. Last week Mindy Doo used Sanjaya's flat iron; tonight she used his hair teaser. Jordin reminds J-Lo of Michael Jackson? What was it, the side ponytail and girlish facial features? Yikes. Hot-pants Haley's got to go. And I'm sure Sir Sanjaya the Terrible is staying yet again... but at least he looks less like an adolescent female with that facial hair.

So there's my favs of the week! Next week, watch Thank God You're Here. It really is funny.

"New York is in the motherf*cking house!!"

As you all know, my favorite clock-craving crazy from VH1's Flavor of Love was "New York," aka Tiffany. For those of you who watched, well, you've GOT to remember her. For those of you who didn't, a) why the hell not?, and b) New York was the character on the show whose hilarious soundbytes made no sense, whose mother was just as insane as she is, and whose jealous obsession with Flavor Flav got her to the final two and then ultimately dissed in both seasons of the show.

Hopefully you also watched New York's show, "I Love New York," on VH1. It's hilarious. New York is as cracked-out as ever, and her soundbytes are as hilarious as they used to be. The show is set up like Flav's, down to the pimped-out velveteen house and the chunky prizes winners wear around their necks. Not surprising, since Flav is the producer. I called from the beginning that the final two men would be Chance, the ultimate Thug who New York compares to Flav, and Tango, the sensitive lover who gives New York a taste of her own drama-queen medicine. But I never would have predicted what went down in the season finale. I had a hunch New York would pick Tango, since Chance was too much of a loose cannon. In New York's words, "Chance is a straight-up thug. I just hope he don't pull out a gun and start cappin' motherf*ckers." True dat. But in an unsuspected twist, after New York announced his victory, Tango whipped out a diamond and proposed! New York nearly had a heart attack. She was clearly pressured into saying yes (pay no attention to the cameras behind the curtain!!), but she swifty backed down, muttering "what the hell did I just do?!" Such great TV.

If you ever watched Flavor of Love or I Love NY, tune in to the Reunion show in two weeks to see what ended up happening. Do I hear an I Love NY 2?! I hope so!!! If you didn't watch either show, check out VH1's "V-Spot" to see funny clips from the show so you can see what you've been missing!! (http://www.vh1.com/vspot/)

Jim's my favorite April fool

In honor of April Fools' Day (is that apostrophe right? I'm assuming there's more than one fool... Ok I'm a geek), and in the spirit of procrastination, I'd like to note my top five favorite pranks from The Office. Think of them as suggestions for your own tomfoolery... especially if you have Dwight Shrute-like colleagues. If you don't work in an office, or if you actually like your coworkers (or, I suppose, if you have serious and/or seriously annoying coworkers who would report you to corporate and get you fired or something), then you can just remember how much you love The Office and have a little laugh.

There have been SO many pranks on the show that it's incredibly difficult to pick a fave-five. (Hey thanks for the catch phrase, t-mobile!) And as you all know, I'm in love with Jim Halpert, so I basically think everything he does on the show is the greatest thing in the world. But after thinking about it for a little while (not long enough, since I have to get back to my stats paper... but in the scheme of things, probably too long, since I have to get back to my stats paper), here are my picks:

5) Jim pranks Dwight (season 3): After the office staff discovers a bat inside Dunder Mifflin, Jim tells Dwight that he thinks the bat bit him (Jim). Then during the rest of the day, Jim starts displaying "symptoms" of turning into a vampire. Of course, Dwight believes him. (Note: this prank narrowly beats Jim convincing Dwight in the season 1 episode "Drug Testing" that Dwight had smoked pot and lost his memory.)

4) Jim pranks Michael (season 3): Michael inappropriately asks Jim to hire a hot stripper to come to the office for Phyllis' wedding shower. Instead of hiring a sexy naked hottie, Jim hires an educational speaker dressed up as Ben Franklin. Of course Michael thinks it's a stripper theme. Hilarity ensues.

3) Jim and Pam prank Andy (season 3): Just when you thought office sycophant Andy couldn't possibly get more annoying, he shows up at work with a new cell phone ring -- a recording of him singing a really irritating song (I think it was Rockin' Robin? I can't remember at the moment)... in multiple-part harmony with HIMSELF. He proceeds to call himself from his desk phone so everyone can hear his new ring. Jim and Pam, in their triumphant return to the world of team-tag pranking, steal Andy's phone, hide it in the ceiling, and call him repeatedly.

2) Jim and Pam prank Dwight (season 1): In perhaps the most elaborate and intricately planned prank of the series, Jim and Pam take advantage of Dwight's paranoia with hilarious results. Dwight indicates to Jim that he thinks members of the office are forming Survivor-like alliances in order to avoid getting laid off. Jim and Pam take this conspiracy theory and run, pretending to overhear people's plans not to "get kicked off" and even staging a secret phonecall in the warehouse, convincing Dwight to stuff himself inside a taped-up storage box in order to learn the other tribes' secrets. With Jim and Pam's encouragement, Dwight even goes so far as to dye his hair in an attempt to go undercover. Just thinking about this one makes me laugh. It was great. And the best part was that the prank lasted for the whole episode!

Now my absolute favorite...

1) Jim and Pam prank Dwight (season 2?): It was a typical Thursday in the office, until Jim realized that Dwight thought it was Friday. Jim and Pam want to keep it that way, so they proceed to talk about "The Apprentice episode last night," make phone calls to friends about weekend plans, and do everything in their power to keep up the charade that today is Friday. This prank is so effective that for the first time in his life, Dwight doesn't come in to work Friday morning -- because he thinks it's Saturday! One of the funniest Office plotlines ever.

I had a hard time choosing and ordering these five, because there are SO many pranks on this show, and they're all so funny. I guess that's what you get when one of the writers (the guy who plays Ryan the Temp) used to do Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher!

How do your favorite pranks on The Office compare to mine? And have you ever tried anything like this in real life? Maybe today's the day to start.

Happy April Fools' Day!!!

Goodbye-a Sanjaya

One word. "Ponyhawk."

You've gotta give it to this Sanjaya kid -- he's got quite the clever strategy. Besides having the backing of the anti- American Idol web wonder "votefortheworst.com" and Howard Stern (the chauvenistic shock jock, not the one claiming to be Anna Nicole's baby's dad), he has the most varied collection of hair-don'ts in the history of the show. He teases it, or he uses a flat iron, and the judges, who can't think of anything good to say about his singing, comment on his hair every week. This week though... wow. In honor of guest judge Gwen Stefani (who, by the way, makes a much better performer than vocal coach... yikes), Sanjaya styled his hair in a fake mohawk (Paula called it a faux-hawk) made up of seven tiny ponytails. Oh, Sanjaya.

He's a terrible performer -- he's just GOT to go. But this week, his combination teeny bopper girl/ anti-establishment adult male fan base, his bright white teeth, and his mysterious ponyhawk spared him from the bottom three. Safe yet again. Looks like smug Sanjaya's got nine lives. And I fear it's just gonna get worse. This week Chris Sligh went home. Understandable, considering his slow unraveling the last few weeks. (But the guy's actually talented! No, seriously. If you don't remember from earlier in the season that he's actually pretty good, check out his band's video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ps3b_FTTCo) But we all know Sanjaya should have gone a long time ago. Hopefully soon the buzz will die down and so will Sanjaya's laughable popularity. I guess he makes for good TV. But still. America. I beg of you. Stop voting for Sanjaya. Because if Jordin or Mindy Doo or Blake or "Kiki" get kicked off in lieu of Sanjaya the Hairtastic, I'm calling you all up and convincing you individually that you're doing the world a disservice. And believe me, you don't want that.

Underdog?: the difference between Max and Sanjaya

I've already admitted that I watch (and now love) the Grease show. I can't help it -- I'm seriously addicted. But now I have an even bigger secret. I've become an American Idol-watcher.

Before this season, I had only seen a handful of episodes. The season Clay Aiken charmed those of us who love a good closet case, I watched the last couple weeks. I also watched the last couple weeks during the season with Bo Bice and Constantine. (Who won that year? Carrie Underwood?) Anyway, that's it. I just never got into it... I think because I always had class or rehearsals when it was on (and DIDN'T have the wonder of DVR like I do now). Also, I can't stand the audition episodes, so I usually never make it past them. Regardless, I've gotten hooked this season (thanks to the DVR gods above. Watch Idol without DVR at your own peril). I'm not going to bore you with a run-down of my opinions on each contestant, although opinions I do have. Instead, I'd just like to briefly opine on what it means to be an underdog and who the real underdogs are in the world of reality TV. (Well, okay, just the Grease show and American Idol. Ashamedly, I do watch hordes of other reality TV shows, but we won't get into those now. Except to say that Sisely is the underdog on the Pussycat Dolls show, not Chelsea or Mariela. Read further to find out why.)

We'll start with the Grease show, because it offers the epitome of an underdog story: Max. How much do you love Max?! Max is a true underdog, and here's why... he's super talented!! He came into the competition looking like some kid you vaguely remember from high school, and his nickname on the show is "Slacker Danny." Unlike Austin and Jason, Max hasn't been on (or off) Broadway. Unlike Chad or Derek, he doesn't have the classic Danny look. Unlike Kevin, he's not too shy to be on Broadway, and unlike Matt, he doesn't suck. He's cute in a best-friend-who-makes-you-laugh kind of way, and in my opinion, he's the best singer in the competition. He's been criticized by the judges for not looking like Danny, for being too twerpy, for having big ears, etc etc... but they greased his hair and had him lift weights, and now he really looks like he could lead a gang (and look pretty darn cute doing it). What makes him the underdog isn't that he's BAD, and it's not that he's UGLY. Cuz he's not! And it's also not that he had bell's palsy as a kid (although... wow). No, he's an underdog because he's GOOD. Good but unlikely. He faced seemingly insurmountable odds (come on, admit it, at the beginning you liked Max but never thought he'd make it to the finals), and he does well every week DESPITE those odds. He's a fighter, he has natural talent, and now he made it into the finals. Because who doesn't love an underdog story? (PS I usually vote for Max online every week. I'll admit that this week I actually also voted via phone. Sad, I know.)

So in light of Max's story, who's the underdog of American Idol? Or, let's start here... who ISN'T the underdog of American Idol? SANJAYA. Why? Because he's AWFUL. He's worse than bad. He's HIDEOUS. He can style his hair like Paula all he wants... it doesn't make him any better. Unlike Max, Sanjaya sucks. I'm not just being mean here people, he's BAD. Like Simon said this week, the shots of the girl sobbing all through his performance explains it all. America, you're the ones who should be crying right now. Because instead of eliminating Sanjaya (who should have been eliminated the very first week, nevermind making it into the top 10), you eliminated Stephanie. And Sanjaya wasn't even in the bottom two!! Really? Steph and Chris in the bottom two?! America, you've got to understand that he is NOT the underdog of this competition. He's the joke. Every week they tell him his smile's pretty... because there's nothing they can say about his singing, since it's so bad that it's beyond help. He's almost like William Hung (ok, not THAT bad, but still!), except this time he made it in, unlike Hung, who got famous from his audition. But I don't think anyone thought Hung was the underdog. He was the joke. And the same goes for Sanjaya. So please stop voting for him. It's not funny anymore. And if you're voting for him because you think he's the underdog, think again.

The real underdog of this competition, if you ask me, is Jordin Sparks. Here's why. I remember her from auditions, and I liked her back then. She made it to Hollywood, and she's been giving solid performances every week. She's a very talented singer, and I love listening to and watching her perform. But since they got to Hollywood, she's been living in the shadow of LaKisha and Melinda (who are also both very talented). But that's why Jordin's the underdog. No, she doesn't have LaKisha's "big black woman" sound/look, and she doesn't have Melinda's charming but slightly irritating humility. As far as I know, she also doesn't have a kid at home. The first couple weeks she kind of got lost in the shuffle with all the hullabaloo surrounding La to the K and Mindy-Doo. But as everything gets sifted out, and the posers get separated from the raw talent, Jordin's been getting noticed by the judges. This week, I think I remember one of the judges calling her the Kelly Clarkson of the competition. (I might have taken that as an offense a while ago, but I like KC these days, and she did WIN Idol after all.) What makes Jordin the underdog is exactly what makes Sanjaya anything but -- TALENT. She's damn good. And unlikely, because the odds are severely in favor of the other two women. Well, or Blake. He's really cool too. But definitely not an underdog.

So do you see the difference, America?! If you want to vote for an underdog, Jordin Sparks is the way to go. She's the Max of American Idol. And if you're just voting for Sanjaya because his hair is prettier than yours, or because you feel bad for him since he thinks he can hula but really can't do that either, remember what Simon always says... this is a SINGING competition.